Head First: Children of the Corn

Friday, March 24, 2006

Children of the Corn


I wasn't going to post about this, but it seems to be turning into something.

Brandon put me on to this eBay auction for a tortilla chip bearing the image of our Saviour. You have to check it out. Read the full description and the questions from bidders at the bottom (a couple of them are mine). Never mind that the image looks sort of like George Carlin. It's Jesus, alright. I'm sure of it.

Anyway, I knew the moment I saw it, that I must claim this holy relic in the name of the one true Church of the Holy Burrito. My friends have told me that I'm crazy and that I can never hope to attain such a treasure, but I remain unswerving in my resolve. Meanwhile, heretics, pagans and other various evildoers conspire in a DaVinci Code-esque plot to keep the chip out of the hands of true believers. But God will not be mocked. I shall have this chip, and I shall enjoy it with a slightly chilled Chimay Grande Reserve Ale, brewed in Godly fashion by Trappist monks in Belgium.

Keep me in your prayers, that the One True Chip will soon be found in its rightful home.

Click the button to donate to this righteous cause. Help me redeem the chip.





9 comments:

RC said...

this is crazy great...i saw this on another site and i have not choice but to see how the story develops!

Good luck!

--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com

Gordon Cloud said...

What is funny is to see the ads that are now in your AdSense after you blogged this.

Herobill said...

Dude! You want that chip?

I can send you a hundred of them just like it, pronto!

Just send your address and ten-thousand dollars to...

:)

Caro said...

herobill-
How long do you think it will take you to draw on all those chips?
Personally, I'd prefer a grilled cheesey virgin-- Oops, Freudian slip-- cheese virgin mother.
Probably cost less too, even if much more difficult to locate/produce.
Dorse-Can't help you, I'm broke Hope the chip isn't).

Herobill said...

Draw! Draw?

(I'm so offended...)

My attendants do the drawing! ;)

dorsey said...

Aw, man. I just realized this auction doesn't close until two o'clock in the morning! I'm committed, but this is asking a lot.

The Holy Burrito had better be grateful.

Brandon said...

Damn you, Dorsey. I cannot believe I just bid 19.00 for one motherfucking cornchip and I was outbid by you.

Enjoy the damn chip.

I give up.

By the way, has anybody seen the ricecake with the Dalai Lama on it...that might be more my speed, anyway.

Sable Chicken said...

Dorsey,
Check out what they are selling on ebay now.

http://cgi.ebay.com/Jesus-Speaks-Dont-Look-for-Me-in-a-Tortilla-Chip-P_W0QQitemZ4580106659QQcategoryZ378QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

I'm sad you won the chip, I had this great idea of photographing one of my hens holding the Holy Chip in her beak...It won't be the same with a fake chip;(
Congratulations!

jeff said...

COngratulations bro. I'm sure you'll be appointed High Pontiff of the Holy Burrito church after spending $30 for a corn chip...

You da man!

(you might want to make your Paypal link a little bigger)