Head First: Happy Memorial Day

Monday, May 28, 2007

Happy Memorial Day

For the umpteenth year in a row, I went to a Memorial Day Parade today with Mrs. Dorsey and the little Dorsies. I made a couple observations:

First, I'm pretty sure I would make one badass bagpiper. I don't think I'm a Scotsman, but I know I could pull it off.

Second, I cannot abide string bands. I don't know if anyone outside the greater Philadelphia area has been subjected to the concept of Mummers, but trust me when I tell you, they're a sight to behold, and an embarrassment to decent drinking folks everywhere. Picture fifty semi-sober South Philly union guys, arrayed in brightly colored costumes, feathers and sequins as far as the eye can see, playing "Golden Slippers" as they dance down the avenue. Nothing says, "I'm gay" like shiny prancing drunks with banjos and saxophones.


Third, I want a 1943 Willys Jeep, preferably one like this, with a big gun mounted in the back. I think this would be a most effective traffic-management tool.


Fourth, I regret never having served in the military. Every year, I get a little choked up when the old guys from the American Legion march past. Today, there was one old guy on the front line, looking to be about ninety. He was too weak to carry a flag, but was clearly determined to march. His shirt was pressed, his shoes shined, and although his gait was shaky, he kept the cadence well. There was another younger veteran to his right who was ready with a steadying hand, but it didn't look like he was going to need it. As he marched down High St. ahead of the Stars and Stripes, the crowd on both sides of the street began to applaud the old soldier. As applause gave way to cheers, I remembered how much I love being an American. No matter in what condition we find ourselves as a nation, I will always be grateful to the men and women, the sons and daughters, the husbands and brothers, who gave up their lives for the idea of America (whatever that means to you). And I will always rise to my feet and remove my hat when our flag passes by.

I'm seriously considering the bagpipe thing.

10 comments:

Recovering said...

Nice post. I echo your regrets about not serving and your pride in a nation that - for all its faults - is the strongest and most decent nation in world history.

Barry said...

Personally I'm glad I've never done military service, though I'm grateful to those who have defended my freedom by doing so. My country has never been under direct military threat in my lifetime, for which I have to thank those old soldiers who fought in the 1940s.

Joshua G. Sanders said...

You would be a fool not to want to play the pipes. I question the sanity of anyone who doesn't. I agree about the regretting. I was in the process of joining a few years back and then we found out we were having our first child and I couldn't bear to leave. Its for the best anyway since I have had a couple of friends who went nuts in the service and since I'm nuts on this side of it I should probably look into pacifism. If you get one of those Jeeps Dorsey it might be an easier way to take out Sbarros. While you're at it will you take out a few Captain D's and Long John Silvers? Those shifty buggers and their suspiciously cheap fish products.

Zeke said...

Bagpipes?

I can totally see that.

dorsey said...

I'm totally serious, too. I came this close to ordering a set of pipes online yesterday. And, today, I stopped and looked at a 59 Willys. Still thinking...

seƱor jefe said...

'59 Willys'...

sounds dirty.

Zeke said...

sounds dirty.

Like 2001 Hummers. Or getting rear-ended by a Ramcharger.

Kc said...

I hate being so late but I had to say this post was another one your greats Dorse.

ninjanun said...

If you play the bagpipes, you have to wear the kilt.

And if you wear the kilt, you must wear the sporran, the knee hose, the hose flashes, and the ghillie brogues (shoes). And make sure you have sgian dubh tucked into your hose.

And then you must take a picture.

And then we can all comment on how succinctly Scottish you look.

dorsey said...

Sgian dubh? Tucked into my WHAT?