Head First

Hiatus

2008-06-14T15:55:00.005-04:00

I am hesitant to do this, because the minute I do, a mad flurry of ideas will overtake me and I'll be putting up posts left and right. However, I think I'm done for a while. We just lost another dear friend to cancer, and to be honest, it's taken some of the wind out of my sails. On top of that, I have a very busy summer ahead, and what leisure time I have, I want to spend fishing, on the bike, in the Jeep, with my family, and brewing high-quality ales. As you know, I've been back in church for several months, but I still don't see a place for myself there, except for the opportunities it affords to be in relationship. My wife and daughter will go to Guatemala again in a few weeks to work with the poor there, so keep them in your thoughts and prayers (better yet, send money. heh). I'll be around, and you can always find me on facebook. Still, keep your RSS feeds on.

Peace. I love you.

No greater love

2008-05-26T09:10:00.009-04:00

(This post is based on a very apt message I heard yesterday. I thought it might be worth sharing.)

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." 1 John 3:16)

Milton L. Olive III was born in 1946 in Chicago. There is almost no information available about his life, except for a single heroic act that he performed in Vietnam. In October, 1965, while Olive was moving with his unit through the jungle near Phu Cuong, he was the first to see a live enemy grenade drop into the middle of their formation. Instantly, Pfc. Olive scooped up the grenade, pulled it to his midsection, and fell on top of it. He absorbed the full impact of the blast and prevented further death and injury to the rest of his platoon. The entire incident began and ended in fewer than five seconds.

What you think of the Vietnam War is irrelevant. Olive's act was not about politics nor mission. He sacrificed himself for the people he cared about. Few would argue that, by any standard, Private (First Class) Milton Lee Olive III fully lived up to the highest ideals of service and sacrifice.

And I tell myself I'm acting like Jesus by coming off ten bucks for a homeless guy. [/clueless]

Still, look at the verses that follow:

"If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us." (vv. 17-20)

You and I are not likely to cross paths with a live grenade this week. But I can almost guarantee that I'll be confronted with someone's real need. If you're paying attention, you probably will be, too. If you're not, then click on one of the links in my sidebar.

Today is a day of remembrance. Let us choose to remember that service and sacrifice are not limited to a battlefield. Service is an opportunity to sacrifice. Every day. In every situation. In every life.

This is how we know what love is.

Open Letter to the AARP.

2008-04-10T10:56:00.002-04:00

Dear Sirs/Madames,

For the love of God, please, please, please stop sending me membership information.

Thank you.

A post of its own.

2008-03-12T08:06:00.005-04:00

My intent in the last post was not so much a discussion of communion as it was the idea of how our perceptions limit God. But the thread turned to the Lord's supper and a very good conversation ensued. Still, I don't want to get away from the God-in-a-box idea. My friend, sandytrif, made a comment that got to the heart of what I was thinking:

"What really matters is why do we put the maker of the universe in a box we make? Why do we who are so small and finite think we can contain the creator of all things?"

I think this idea is really at the root of my problem with most theology (western theology, at least--I'm thinking the Greek Orthodox are on to something, besides wicked cool hats). For all of Christendom's hermeneutical machinations, it still amounts to, "We serve an infinite God... and this is exactly what He looks like."

Random...

2008-03-07T16:31:00.003-05:00

As we took communion Sunday, my 9 year old whispered, "Daddy, Jesus' body tastes like cardboard."

"I know, honey," I thought, "He must've picked up the taste of the box we keep him in."

Worship...

2008-03-03T00:05:00.006-05:00

is not:
-raising my hands.
-singing a song.
-coached nor manipulated.
-able to be observed as such.

is:
-understanding and acknowledging that God is the source of everything.
-putting the needs of others ahead of mine.
-sacrificing myself in service to the Jesus I see in people.
-best exemplified in what James calls "pure and undefiled" religion (helping the helpless).

I say these things as a musician and as a former "worship leader" (I really dislike that term). I spent a number of years operating under some very well-meaning, but wrong-headed assumptions about what is pleasing to God. As I now stand, I find the things I once sought to achieve and to encourage in others are the very least part of what it means to worship.

Not that there's anything wrong with singing or making music. I love music (well, good music, anyway). I just don't want to get back to the place where I can work up a shiver and call it touching God. More and more, I'm learning to perceive the nearness of God in the everyday and ordinary stuff of life... in my marriage, in my kids, in my friends...

...and in those things, I taste the wonder of it all.

The Great American Novel

2008-02-27T10:21:00.002-05:00

Larry Norman recorded this song in 1972. It's amazing how relevant it sounds 36 years later. I guess nothing ever really changes, does it? People will keep being people, no matter what happens or who's in charge.

Only visiting this planet...

2008-02-26T15:01:00.005-05:00

Arguably the first Christian rocker ever, Larry Norman died Sunday of heart failure at the age of 60. Say what you want about Christian music, that dude was for real. I'm officially sad.

Meanwhile...

2008-02-23T11:38:00.002-05:00

Lots to say, no time to say it. To tell the truth, I'm debating whether to shut the blog down altogether.

So watch this while I make up my mind...

This cracked me up...

2008-01-22T22:16:00.001-05:00

I adore jonbirch. He can say a thousand and one words with one image. Go check him out.

A couple more of my favorites are here and here.

My absolute all-time favorite is here.

Reason #5 why 2008 will be better than 2007

2008-01-19T08:59:00.001-05:00

UPDATE, 1/23/07 - Just saw it with Jefe. Awesome. Get yourself to an IMAX quick.

Impending papal smackdown sends strong warning to Satan

2007-12-30T08:50:00.000-05:00

"Thanks be to God, we have a Pope who has decided to fight the Devil head-on," says Father Gabriele Amorth, on Pope Benedict XVI's recent order to bishops to drastically increase the number of qualified exorcists in dioceses worldwide.

Apparently, God is still busy breaking up the row between the priests in Bethlehem, so the vicar of Christ will pick up the slack by keeping that pesky Beelzebub at bay with roving "exorcism squads." So I guess that's good. Still, as I read this story and the accompanying photos, I couldn't help but think...

Who would I rather meet in a dark alley? One who comes as an angel of light? Or a snarling german on a throne waving a dangling dead Jesus-on-a-stick?

I dunno, man...

Christmas is over. Business as usual.

2007-12-27T09:51:00.000-05:00

[cue music]...peace on earth, good will toward men.

Aaaa-meeeeeen.[/stop music]

Earlier today, inside the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem (not Pennsylvania, the REAL one), Greek Orthodox and Armenian priests broke into a real live fistfight while photographers documented the event. Seven people were injured in the flurry of fists, brooms and iron bars (yes, iron bars), including two Palestinian police.

Apparently, various Christian sects control different areas of the church, and during the post-holiday cleanup, someone's ladder crossed into enemy territory in what can only be described as the religious rendition of "Daaad, he's touching me! Tell him to stay on his side!!"

God was reportedly heard to say, "If I stop this car, somebody's gonna be sorry!"

Full story here.

When I was thirsty...

2007-12-20T23:32:00.000-05:00

Go here for more information on the Advent Conspiracy

Straight, No Chaser

2007-12-18T09:02:00.000-05:00

It was the name of the group that first caught my eye. ; )

I've been emailed this clip from four people, and, judging from the number of hits on YouTube, you've likely seen it by now, but I'm putting it up anyway. It's from a concert in 1998. I just love this:

All I want for Christmas...

2007-12-14T12:25:00.000-05:00

...is a tour announcement (pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease).

(Oh, and the five hundred bucks it'll probably take to get a ticket.) Read more here.

My favorite quote about Monday night's show comes from Pete Paphides (The Times of London):

"With a synergy like this going on, it would be an act of cosmic perversity to stop now."

My Thanksgiving Message.

2007-11-21T22:56:00.000-05:00

Um...thank you.

Random Stickie...

2007-11-01T07:58:00.000-04:00

On my two primary computers, an iMac and my trusty black MacBook, I've come to rely upon a genius little app called "Stickies," which allows me to place collapsible PostIt-type notes all over my desktop. You probably have something like it. It's a handy tool for keeping reminders, to-do lists, phone numbers, etc. as well as a repository for random thoughts, interesting quotes, and other ideas to be stored for later use. Between my two desktops, I must have thirty of these things, mostly consisting of mental meanderings I intended to develop into blog brilliance somewhere down the line. Thing is, I have more thoughts than I have time to sit down and work through them.

Anyway, I was browsing through my pile of Stickies, discarding old lists of already-accomplished chores and people to call back, and ran across this gem:

Relationships need to be organic. They happen as believers get out of their cloisters and interact with the world. It happens when we start to be real and open to the notion that we have something to receive in the exchange instead of wasting our time looking for ways to steer the conversation toward God.

To be honest, I'm not sure whether I wrote this or if it's a quote from someone else, but it was on the same note as a rant (which was definitely mine) about how evangelism and marketing are almost interchangeable terms in the church. Maybe we can work through it together.

Expect to see more from the Stickies pile.

Relationship or Righteousness?

2007-10-28T09:03:00.000-04:00

Instead of righteousness, let's just say right-ness. Which takes precedent?

the hardest word...

2007-10-09T22:50:00.000-04:00

Check this out:

Fresh start?

2007-09-20T14:28:00.000-04:00

I think I just saw a little glimpse of daylight...

When I go...

2007-09-10T23:34:00.000-04:00

To the previous post (about Pavarotti), Caro commented:

"As for all of this world's glories, triumphs, trials and tragedies, 'This too shall pass.' When our voices are silenced, will anyone remember who we were? Will our spirit of love remain in the hearts of those we've touched? GOD, help us live worthy of death!"

As I read Caro's very apt thought, I was reminded of my friend, Ed Onorato. Ed was a fabulous, professional musician and a loyal friend, with whom I had the privilege to play many times. He died of leukemia about this time last year. More than his talent, he would do anything for anyone. His generosity of spirit seemed boundless. At his (standing room only, 500+) memorial service, person after person stood and offered stories of the joy and compassion Ed brought to their lives.

Several weeks ago, I was at my favorite Italian restaurant with my family. There was a guy there, set up with his keyboard and percussion machine, singing all your favorite Italian love songs. As he sang, I sat there and wept into my '03 Sangiovese. All I could think of was Ed, and how terribly I still miss him. After we finished our meal, I approached the fellow to put a few bucks in his jar. He was between songs, so I asked him, "Did you know my friend, Ed?" Tears immediately filled his eyes as he told me how much he missed playing with Ed, too. I was getting choked up again, so I didn't stick around to chat (I didn't even get the guy's name).

I've reflected on that moment a number of times with a number of friends, and have always come back to the same question. Can you imagine being a person who has such influence with people that, a year after you're gone, strangers will cry with one another at the mention of your name? I echo Caro's cry, God, help us live such lives.

Rock Star...

2007-09-06T07:36:00.000-04:00

1935 - 2007

A Dangerous Freedom

2007-08-25T05:05:00.000-04:00

A few days ago, recent Slice of Laodicea target, NakedPastor posted here about scripture in the context of freedom:

"Freedom is the healthiest condition of the mind and heart, and it is the happiest place of humanity. If you read the scriptures, they must inform that reality of freedom and testify to our momentary liberation. Somehow, scripture must act like a fertilizer that percolates our minds and hearts with the freedom that the Spirit brings. The bible is not to be used as an instruction booklet on how to follow the proper steps to salvation. It is like a document from a free land that announces to us that our bonds have been broken and we are free indeed."

As I read his post, I thought about an old quote I read from Grace Murray Hopper:

"A ship is safest in the harbor, but that's not what ships are built for."

Perhaps it's just a fundamental human tendency, but I see a lot of christendom tied up securely at the dock. I can't make up my mind which distresses me more, the person (or church) that forges ahead ham-handedly and makes a mess of things, or the one who thinks, "If I never attempt anything, I'll never fail."

In the interest of full-disclosure, I have been both of those people.

Some observations:

2007-08-21T22:35:00.000-04:00

- church that is built on any agenda but to love people and be in relationship with one another is destined to miss God's intent for the Church, which, coincidentally, happens to be to love people and be in relationship with one another.

- any church whose agenda is to make converts will have a hell of a time convincing me that they don't see outsiders as potential notches in their collective bible.

- submission to one another as a behavioral pattern is not easily compatible with the idea of taking your city/state/country for Christ.

- it's not right to throw stones at people, even if they're real bastards and shoot arrows at you first.

- people who try to fix other people just make life difficult for everyone (my 8 year-old daughter made this observation).

- I find myself trusting God more these days, because I don't have all that certainty to fall back on.

- I'm not angry anymore, but I'm still a little sad.

Would you buy uniforms from this man?

2007-07-28T09:34:00.002-04:00

Today, my little brother turns 39 (again). Show him some love.

Turning 40 can be a tricky thing. Actually, any of the "decade" birthdays can play with your head. Thirty was a bit of a crisis for me, because I so thoroughly enjoyed my twenties. By my 40th, I felt like I was hitting my stride (of course, within two years, everything went to hell, so...). Nevertheless, as time marches, it becomes more apparent that the important things in life are love, family and relationships (oh, and fishing). So, in that regard, Senor Jefe wants for nothing (except a cool Jeep like mine).

Happy 40th, Jefe. I love you. I wish we could be there, but Julia and I are going camping (oh, and fishing).

Uh, what was the question?

2007-07-08T19:34:00.000-04:00

All my life, I've heard one preacher or another say, "If you always keep the Main Thing the main thing, then the Main Thing will always be the main thing." Sounds like pastor Yogi Berra, I know, but the idea is that it's important to remember what's...um... important (hmph, must be contagious).

One of the problems with theo-blogs is the ease with which we chase down topical rabbit-holes until it's difficult to remember what we were talking about to begin with. I admit, there have been times when I've come away from conversations with my head spinning. If you'll bear with me, I need to go back and cover the basics.

So, in the light of the many discussions we've had, here and elsewhere, my question is back to this:

Just what is the gospel?

I'm serious. How do you define the Good News?

Happy Birthday, Spam!

2007-07-04T09:07:00.000-04:00

The holy grail of canned meat turns 70 this year.

Happy birthday, Spam (oh, and you, too, America).

H/T to National Public Radio. Get the whole story here.

These are the days...

2007-06-29T14:01:00.000-04:00

As a parent, I've never wanted my kids to think they deserve a parade for, say, pooping in the toilet, where they're supposed to. I love whipping out that passage from Luke 17:

"Does the servant get special thanks for doing what's expected of him? It's the same with you. When you've done everything expected of you, be matter-of-fact and say, 'The work is done. What we were told to do, we did.'"

In fact, the idea of a kindergarten graduation sends me into a fire-spitting fit. So, naturally, when number one daughter was finishing up 8th grade, I resisted making a bigger deal out of it than I thought was necessary (Of course, that was the cue for everyone else in my family to pull out all the stops.).

Nevertheless, as I thought about my little girl (now taller than her mother), leaving friends she's been with since Pre-K, I found myself drawn into the emotion of the event. All I talk about is the importance of relationship, and here she is, faced with being pulled from the people she thinks of as brothers and sisters to go to a huge high school where she knows almost no one. Although I know it's part of life and of growing up, my heart aches for her a little. For about a week after she finished, she cried herself to sleep almost every night. I never thought I'd say this, but thank God for MySpace and Verizon's unlimited text plans.

During the graduation ceremony, the students had prepared some remarks about their time together. Catherine and her friend, Alyssa stood and talked about how much they fight with one another (I can attest to this). Yet, no matter how bitter the battle, the love they have for one another always compels them to find a way back to peace (usually through Rebecca, the peacemaker of the group). It was a lesson for most of the adults in the room. How do we go about losing that kind of deep commitment to each other? Did we ever have it? I don't remember, but I want it back. Thanks, Ambassador Christian Academy 8th graders, for the reminder of how Jesus intends us to be. Good stuff.

So anyway, while I do not want to make a bigger deal out of this than it is, I want to say congratulations to my little girl, the now-9th grader. I love you, sweetheart.

Please pay your cell phone bill.

This is the video I put together for the graduation ceremony. It might come across as a little cheesy if you don't know the kids, but I tried to capture the bond that they share. Its really remarkable to observe.

Letter to a friend...

2007-06-26T03:07:00.000-04:00

Y'know, when I think about the last couple years, I think the most painful part about the whole experience is that of being misunderstood by people who I thought would "get it." Yeah, the slander, the misrepresentations of my remarks, they angered me plenty. But they were just diversions perpetrated by guys who needed to cover their self-serving asses and cling to control, their idea of strength. I guess they didn't have much choice, other than own up to character flaws they could not even perceive in themselves. What's the old saying? Something about self-righteousness being like body odor... everyone knows who has it except the one who has it. I'd laugh, but then I'd wonder how badly I smell. Heh.

Thing is, I thought you would understand. I really thought you would see how those sinister circumstances propelled me to a place where the questions I've always asked could be explored. It wasn't comfortable--still isn't--but there's little denying that a great deal of good has come from it. The farther I get from it, the more I see it. My friendships with the kids are more meaningful, our bond more substantive because of the voluntary nature of our fellowship. It's not a job anymore. I'm favored to have them around.

But when I hear the people for whom I care deeply reduce the road I travel to the result of a petty argument, it pains me thoroughly. The fight was probably inevitable. If not about this, then something else. Two people cannot believe such vastly different things so dogmatically without coming to blows, eventually. I've had to repent of my dogmatism. It was hurtful, and I admitted as much, but compromise wasn't in the cards. But to hear it all reduced to, "Well, you're both just stubborn," really cuts to the quick. I like to think I have more integrity than that. I thought you thought so, too. But you talk to me (and about me) as if this is a phase I'm going through. Well, I can't say that it's not. But you seem so sure that it is.

And, now that the cast of this drama is poised to change, you seem to think that we can put everything back to normal, as if my difficulty will be resolved by swapping out one insecure autocrat for another. I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but it's not just the man that's broken. The system that a man devised is broken, too. I just don't think it's enough, and that's why I have little confidence that putting a fresh coat of paint on Egypt will make it profitable to return there. It's still bondage, just under new management.

I'm not angry anymore. A number of people have observed that I'm far less stressed and a great deal more peaceful out here in the sunshine and fresh air. You've said it, too. I do miss seeing people regularly, and church offered the venue for that contact, even if it was sometimes fleeting. But sometimes an encouraging word only takes a second to offer, and I do miss the easy opportunity to offer it. Now, it just takes a little more effort. Fancy that.

I'm not sure what I hoped to accomplish by saying these things to you. I still love you, my friend. That won't change. But maybe that's why it hurts when you talk about the "new thing" that I'm into, as if it's some sort of fad. Would it kill you to consider that there might be some merit to the idea that we don't have to fit all of life into a box, or that the certainty we cling to might just be holding closed the door to deeper truths? Sure, it can be scary. That's why God ordained that we do it together. That's why the enemy (whoever that is) prefers that we go it alone. Here, take my hand. Come and see.

It's not all turnpike and tenements.

2007-06-07T21:57:00.000-04:00

I occasionally speak of the "still gardeny part of the Garden State." Well here's a taste (my favorite taste, too). Climbing a tree in the back part of the orchard is like being somewhere else entirely. Good therapy. I'm not saying this is what keeps me here, but this is one of the things that make it tolerable (well that and the fact that the woman I sleep with lives here).

The ones they grow over by the landfill have arms. Pretty trippy, if you're not used to it.

Wake up, genius.

2007-06-02T11:40:00.001-04:00

Sometimes, you have to just stop daydreaming about your next blog topic and remember that's a chain saw in your hand.

Happy Memorial Day

2007-05-28T12:54:00.000-04:00

For the umpteenth year in a row, I went to a Memorial Day Parade today with Mrs. Dorsey and the little Dorsies. I made a couple observations:

First, I'm pretty sure I would make one badass bagpiper. I don't think I'm a Scotsman, but I know I could pull it off.

Second, I cannot abide string bands. I don't know if anyone outside the greater Philadelphia area has been subjected to the concept of Mummers, but trust me when I tell you, they're a sight to behold, and an embarrassment to decent drinking folks everywhere. Picture fifty semi-sober South Philly union guys, arrayed in brightly colored costumes, feathers and sequins as far as the eye can see, playing "Golden Slippers" as they dance down the avenue. Nothing says, "I'm gay" like shiny prancing drunks with banjos and saxophones.

Third, I want a 1943 Willys Jeep, preferably one like this, with a big gun mounted in the back. I think this would be a most effective traffic-management tool.

Fourth, I regret never having served in the military. Every year, I get a little choked up when the old guys from the American Legion march past. Today, there was one old guy on the front line, looking to be about ninety. He was too weak to carry a flag, but was clearly determined to march. His shirt was pressed, his shoes shined, and although his gait was shaky, he kept the cadence well. There was another younger veteran to his right who was ready with a steadying hand, but it didn't look like he was going to need it. As he marched down High St. ahead of the Stars and Stripes, the crowd on both sides of the street began to applaud the old soldier. As applause gave way to cheers, I remembered how much I love being an American. No matter in what condition we find ourselves as a nation, I will always be grateful to the men and women, the sons and daughters, the husbands and brothers, who gave up their lives for the idea of America (whatever that means to you). And I will always rise to my feet and remove my hat when our flag passes by.

I'm seriously considering the bagpipe thing.

What fish tell their children about me...

2007-05-21T08:40:00.000-04:00

"And I beheld a rider on a pale boat. His name was Death, and Hell followed after him."

An Interesting Juxtaposition...

2007-05-17T09:08:00.000-04:00

...but is it sound? To what degree are God and Love interchangeable terms?

(all emphases mine)
(1 John 4:8) "The one who does not love does not know God, for God IS love."

(1 Corinthians 13:4-5) "Love (God?) is patient, love (God) is kind. It (He) does not envy, it (He) does not boast, it (He) is not proud. It (He) is not rude, it (He) is not self-seeking, it (He) is not easily angered, it (He) keeps no record of wrongs." (!!!!!!!!!)

That's pretty much exactly the opposite of what my 6th grade sunday school teacher told me.

Man knows not his time...

2007-05-15T22:16:00.000-04:00

Jerry Falwell died today. When Erik told me the news, the first thought that came to my mind was David's lament upon hearing of the death of Saul: "How the mighty have fallen! The weapons of war have perished!" (2 Sam. 1)

I'm disappointed at some of the responses I've read on the blogs concerning his passing. I wonder if some bloggers can see the irony in the smug satisfaction they display over the demise of their "enemy."

"I have seen something else under the sun:
The race is not to the swift
or the battle to the strong,
nor does food come to the wise
or wealth to the brilliant
or favor to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all." (Eccl. 9:11)

I disagreed with Jerry Falwell on many points. He was never, ever a person with whom I aligned myself. But I think my brother said it best earlier today (I'm paraphrasing):

If God has enough grace for an alcoholic, or a homosexual, or a sinner, I think He has enough grace for an evangelical, too.

EUREKA!!!

2007-05-13T11:44:00.001-04:00

This explains everything!

A Chink in My Armor...

2007-04-30T09:02:00.000-04:00

I went to church yesterday.

Catherine, my older daughter, had been asked to perform a solo for a special service promoting the church's school, so I went to hear her sing. As it turns out, she had been given discretion to select the song, and she chose a tune made popular by Casting Crowns entitled "Does Anybody Hear Her?" I've listened to Casting Crowns, a little. They tend to be a bit didactic, sounding like a cross between MercyMe and every youth group sermon you've ever heard. So when Catherine chose this song, I didn't really think much of it. But, hearing the lyrics for the first time, I thought how interesting and ironic that she would sing this song before the congregation:

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me

If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her

I sat in the very back of the auditorium and wept as she sang (she totally killed, btw). I didn't cry (as some might suppose) because my kid was tearing it up on the platform. My tears came because, at 14, she can already see that this is where the church is missing the point. Maybe I should feel hopeful that Christendom's young people are not blind to the distance between the church and the world around it. But if so, my hope is tempered by the fact that there's no one there who is able (willing?) to help them channel that awareness into something useful.

Don't look at me like that...

The Quandary of Self-Determination

2007-04-26T13:25:00.000-04:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world; there is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were all meant to shine as children... it is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same as we are liberated from our own fear. Our presence automatically liberates others."

Hell, yeah!

2007-04-15T21:28:00.000-04:00

I fear getting old. Because I've abused this body so badly, I'm afraid that it's going to happen many years sooner than it ought.

I feel much better after watching this video:

H/T to devil ducky.com.

Too pooped to pop.

2007-04-12T23:42:00.000-04:00

This might be the longest I've ever gone without a post. It's not that I have nothing to say. I just haven't had the time to say it. I didn't attend Easter services like some of those other sellouts. I stayed home and finished baking bread for the holiday meal with my wife's family. It turned out to be a nice day. Time may not heal all wounds, but it does have its effect.

It's good to take time to do the things you love. I love baking bread, especially a real rustic Tuscan-style boulle, with a thick, toothy crust and chewy middle. It's a very creative and often spiritual experience, observing and participating in the transformation of four basic ingredients (flour, water, salt, yeast) into a life-sustaining thing of beauty. What would otherwise be a useless ball of glue is breathed to life by a quarter teaspoon of yeast. With time, the gluten develops an elastic, cohesive bond, the grain ferments, the flavor develops. Then, the pungent, ripened mix is punched down and shaped. It springs back from its beating, higher than before, its final perfection attained in blazing heat. There are a hundred metaphors for life and spirituality in bread-baking. At one time or another, I've considered just about all of them. Easter seemed a fitting opportunity to meditate on resurrection, as the thing that was dead now not only lives, but sustains life, as well.

I do believe. Help my unbelief.

He said "please," so I said ok.

2007-03-21T00:08:00.001-04:00

Chris is working on his Ph.D. and asked me to post a link to his survey. I'm interested to see the results.

Exploring the Role of Internet Advertising in American Politics:

This survey is designed to help us understand what Americans like you think about internet advertising, modern campaigns, and politics. We are very interested in your thoughts on this matter and greatly appreciate your participation.

Click here to take the survey.

Been there, done that.

2007-03-19T09:53:00.000-04:00

And now, a musical interlude...

2007-03-12T23:07:00.000-04:00

I couldn't stop watching this. As one viewer observed, it's completely absurd, and totally inspired. I forgot how much I miss Freddy Mercury.

Questioning God from way down here.

2007-03-02T07:59:00.000-05:00

I printed the Allen quote yesterday because (like most Woody Allen material) it struck me as funny. But I noticed something this morning. The presupposition of his comment (like most Woody Allen material) is that he, himself is at the center of his own attention, and everything else (including God) is judged according to the skew of his self-centric stance. It's good fodder for a punchline, but I have trouble seeing it succeed as a worldview.

One of the problems, as I see it, is that it's almost impossible to come to the conclusion that God exists without coming to the simultaneous conclusion that this spot where I stand is not the center of all things. Add to that the claim of Christ that "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me," and my importance to all creation is even further marginalized.

While in Washington recently, my wife and I attended a service at the National Cathedral. I have trouble knowing how to describe that place. Built over the course of 83 years from Indiana limestone (NO structural steel) and with no federal money, this anything-but-humble architectural wonder towers 301 feet over the surrounding neighborhood. Inside, next to one of four fluted stone support columns measuring 27-feet across, the Dean of the Cathederal, Dr. Sam Lloyd delivered a challenging, Christ-centered Lenten message from a pulpit carved from a stone taken from Canterbury Cathedral (aka The Mother Ship).

Now, if you know me, you know that few people scream louder than I when churches spend a gajillion dollars on buildings. But I have to say this: as the speaker's words echoed up into the 100-foot ceiling of this great gothic structure, I suddenly glimpsed at least part of the logic of building such an enormous and majestic house of prayer. In that place, at that moment, there was no way I could mistake myself for the center of anything. No, as I bowed my head and confessed my selfish heart, I felt appropriately small.

Richard Dawkins will think me a mindless dolt, but, while I have a million questions for God, and about God, I don't feel the need to question God (does that make sense?). As I told a friend recently, I have come to loathe Christianity only because I love Jesus Christ. I have come to terms with the non-empirical nature and mystery of faith. I consider the message of the gospel and its apparent incompatibility with reason to be more an insufficiency of man's ability to reason than a deficiency of faith.

The problem with many theists and many athiests is that they each insist on being arbiters of an absolute truth. And, as they do, they occupy that spot in the center of the universe that belongs to Another.

God and the problem of pain.

2007-03-01T08:05:00.000-05:00

"How do you expect me to believe in God, when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of my electric type-writer?"
—Woody Allen

I'm learning to accept it...

2007-02-28T15:34:00.000-05:00

HT to America's best Christian for the image and America's worst Christian for the heads-up. ; )

Are you kidding me?

2007-02-25T17:29:00.000-05:00

This is on an endcap display at CVS pharmacy in my town. Is it just me, or is this a little indelicate? Maybe the store manager just hasn't seen a television for the last couple weeks. Tasteless, nevertheless.

From the White House to a black house.

2007-02-22T09:48:00.000-05:00

I took the missus to our nation's capital for a dazzling Valentine's weekend. It's only a couple hours' drive from here. I wish we made the trip more often. If you haven't already, you must make a trip to D.C. a priority. I'll write more later about the specifics of the trip, because there's much to talk about, including a really cool insider tour of the West Wing (I stole paper towels from the White House toilet), and an equally interesting church service (yes, I went to church) at the National Cathedral. We capped it all off with a beer and a very excellent bowl of oyster stew at Martin's Tavern, in Georgetown (we saw the booth where JFK proposed to Jackie ::sigh::). All in all, a spectacular weekend.

Then we came home.

This isn't really my house
(my house is almost twice as large as this).

As soon as I smelled it, I knew we were in trouble. The whole housed smelled like a fuel truck had overturned and caught fire in the living room. I noticed a patch of black above every vent on my way to the basement. As I descended the cellar steps, I couldn't even see the basement floor for the smoke. It took a minute to get to the furnace and figure out what happened. While we were away, the stove pipe had come disconnected from the chimney fluestack. Every time the heater kicked on, the exhaust from the oil burner spewed into the basement, where the heater fan picked it up and distributed all that soot through the entire house. Every surface in my house is covered by a thin layer of soot. Curtains, carpets, linens, clothing...everything (Oddly, my iMac somehow repelled the filth, standing like a shining beacon of hope on my otherwise grimy desk. Bless you, Steve Jobs.). Every surface, even inside the closets and drawers, has to be cleaned by hand.

So here I blog, from my suite at the Residence Inn, where I will remain until sometime next week. Despite the roaring inconvenience, we recognize that this could have been much worse. No one was hurt, nothing of value was destroyed, and we get to live in a decent hotel for a bit (with a good free breakfast) while someone else gives our house the spring cleaning of its life. All I'm out is a couple grand for the deductible and repairs to the furnace. I'm pretty sure I can recoup my losses from the numbnuts oil guy who last serviced the system and didn't put any screws in the flue connection. I should also take this opportunity to plug State Farm Insurance. I've never had to file a homeowner's claim before, but while they weren't the cheapest guys in town, all that talk about Good Neighbor Service is way more than just talk. So far, I'm very impressed.

I have to go check on the cleaning crew and try to reassemble my wrecked work schedule for the next couple weeks. I'll talk more about the D.C. trip soon. Peace.

How Do I Love Ye (or is it Thee?)

2007-02-14T05:50:00.000-05:00

Although we celebrate his day, it's unclear just who Saint Valentine was. Turns out, there were three saints named Valentinus, and they were all martyred. Judging from the tone of their holiday, I'd guess they must have gotten in trouble for getting a little action on the side.

But anyway, since we celebrate vitamin-enriched Eros-brand love today, I thought I'd offer some helpful hints to some of the younger fellows in the crowd and let you in on the secrets of showing love to your spouse. This is how we show love to Mrs. Dorsey in the Marshall household.

One day each week, my daughters and I gather in the living room. This is where we always meet to honor my wife. In fact, we don't really use the room for anything else. It's sort of "her" room, y'know? Here's how the event typically goes down:

• We start with a brief statement, thanking her for all that she does for us, and then asking her to do more.

• Then I break out my Strat and we sing some songs about her. We do two lively songs (the kids like to dance) and two slow ones. If I'm really getting into it, I'll break into some Barry White (Can't get enough of your love, baby...). There's a lot of talk about touching Mrs. D, but we never actually do it.

• Then I pass a basket around and imply to the girls that, if they really love Mommy, they'll certainly want to help out by kicking in to help pay for some new drapes for the living room. I mean, how can we say, "I love you, mom," when we make her live here with those ratty curtains? Well, that's the rationale, anyway. To be honest, I pocket most of the money myself.

• The girls and I take a short break and greet one another, and talk about going to a movie later.

• I deliver a prepared speech, informing the girls that Mommy loves them and that, if they'd be more committed to Mommy (by helping Daddy paint the living room and hang the new drapes), she would love them even more.

• We end the event by briefly addressing Mrs. D, thanking her for being with us.

After the meeting, the kids and I go out for a meal, usually a Chinese buffet. We leave Mrs Dorsey there, in the living room. Someone asked how we came up with this process. I don't really know. We've just always done it this way.

Seriously, if I showed love to my wife the way we often show love to God, she'd probably stop coming to the meetings, too. She's not about jewelry a couple times a year or vacuous displays of affection. She's more convinced that I love her when I fold some clothes or empty the dishwasher, when I take time I could spend elsewhere and spend it with her, when I read with the girls. Likewise, while I do not feel the need to question God's love for me, the thought of my love for Him worries me, sometimes.

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T00:00:00.000-05:00

2007-02-13T02:02:00.000-05:00

Finally, a reason to watch the Grammys.

2007-02-11T22:51:00.000-05:00

That was freakin' awesome.
If you missed it:

Don't be afraid. We're from Google, and we're here to help you.

2007-02-09T11:22:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I thought it might be a good time to listen to Blogger and upgrade my template. I've always known just enough HTML to be a danger to myself and others, but I always managed to figure it out. Apparently, however, my pseudo-skill set is no longer sufficient to render my pensive baby blues at the top of the page. It also turns out that I am not in the mood to deal with it at this moment. Maybe it's time for a complete overhaul. At any rate, you're free to roam the halls until I can figure out what XML is about.

Meanwhile, click here to get saved at the Squirrel Revival.

The Church I want to be.

2007-01-26T18:57:00.000-05:00

Mrs. Dorsey handed me this several minutes ago. I immediately wanted to share it with you. It crystallizes some of the thoughts I've been dancing with, but which have, until now, refused to coalesce into coherence. I'm really starting to choke on what can often be rightly construed as self-righteous disdain for people God loves, despite whatever hypocrisy I might perceive.

The Church as Witness
by L.T. Jeyachandran

As an apologist, I am often engaged in conversations that involve the philosophical, theological, scientific, and historical reasons by which one could reasonably conclude that Jesus is exactly who he said he was--the eternal God now come in the flesh. But interestingly enough, Jesus tells us in John 13:34-35 that the final apologetic by which this world will recognize that he was sent by God is the demonstrable love-relationship that will be seen in the lives of his disciples.

Why is it that the unfathomable truth of Word made flesh can only be conclusively understood in a living, verifiable community of believers? Why is it that of all the methods that the evil one could invent to thwart the purposes of God, none would succeed so spectacularly as the disruption of relationships among the members of the body of Christ?

There is one simple but profound answer. God is a Being in relationship and any truth pertaining to Him, in the final analysis, stands attested by exemplary relationships among his creatures.

To the clever lawyer who questioned him about the greatest commandment in all of Scripture, Jesus significantly refrained from giving religious or ritualistic requirements; instead, he had only two simple relational injunctions to offer: "Love your God" and "Love your neighbor" (Matthew 22:34-40). By placing these two commands at the same level, Jesus brought relationships into focus. Thus, worshipping God is not about mere observance, but relating to Him in love. He is likewise the one who liberates the individual from the self to love others. The first commandment thus becomes foundational and makes the second obey-able. But by the same token, obedience to the second commandment becomes the evidence that the first has been obeyed. The brilliance of this summation is polluted by the pluralist cacophony assaulting us at every turn.

Yet it is in this context that the Church finds itself entrusted with the onerous responsibility of speaking about the relational nature of God. What better way could there be to communicate this blessed reality than by a model which would uncompromisingly demonstrate it before a watching world!

In this, no contemplation of the beauty and glory of God within a community of believers can be complete without some understanding of the relationship between the Three Persons of the Trinity. The image God has given us in the Trinity is an image of three co-eternal, co-equal Persons giving themselves to one another in eternal self-effacement. The glory of our God is not a thunder-and-lighting quality, but a self-giving love within the Trinity. And Jesus's prayer for his disciples (and us) is that this same glory may be given to us that we "may be one" even as they are one. Is there any question why servanthood and relationship-building is no longer an optional extra for the Christian but essential to reflecting the glory of the Triune God?

In a society that is increasingly fragmented and individualized, it is easy to develop a theology of the Church as a collection of perfect individuals. But a right understanding of the relationships within the Trinity would militate against such an interpretation. We do well to remember the powerfully acted parable of Jesus as he washed the disciples' feet. The feet of all the disciples were dirty, but as they would submit themselves to cleansing by one another, they would emerge as a perfect community (John 13:14). We may fundamentally have no difficulty having ourselves cleansed by Christ, but to submit to ablutions by another is virtually unthinkable. The disciples (and we as well) would have been very happy to wash the feet of Jesus, but his injunction was that they should wash one another's feet. It was a strange but effective way of communicating the importance of relating to one another by forgiving, cleansing, and accepting one another in perfect mutuality. In other words, two imperfect individuals can synergistically portray a perfect relationship--the very antidote so desperately needed to correct our individualistic privatized spirituality!

It is an issue within Scripture that cannot be overemphasized. The hallmark of the Church of Jesus Christ is a relational testimony which serves as a pointer to the reality of the Eternal Triune God. May we, under God, consciously discern every trap that the devil sets for us to rupture relationships, and trust the Holy Spirit of love to breathe his healing and remake our fractured bonds.

L.T. Jeyachandran is executive director of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Singapore.

© 2007 Ravi Zacharias International Ministries. All Rights Reserved. Used without permission, but with a prayer that they won't sue me.

Today is the worst day of the rest of your life.

2007-01-22T12:00:00.000-05:00

How do you feel right now?

Well, cheer up. It's bound to get better. According to experts at Britain's Cardiff University, today is "Blue Monday," the unhappiest day of the year.

According to psychologist Dr. Cliff Arnall, a number of factors--from the number of days since Christmas and how long since you broke your New Year's resolutions, to the timing of your holiday credit card bill--have all conspired to make today the worst day of 2007.

You can read about it here.

I don't know. Personally, I'm feeling pretty good today. I paid for Christmas before Christmas, and I didn't really make any resolutions. I guess that's the secret.

Skin Deep

2007-01-08T10:13:00.000-05:00

As the father of daughters, I was stopped in my tracks by this. Show it to people. Your sons, too.

Smile, Jesus Loves You Sucker

2006-12-22T07:10:00.000-05:00

There are just a couple days left before Jesus turns 2039 (depending on how you calculate). Thankfully, we don't celebrate with a cake. That would be a lot of candles! Hoowee!

Anyway, here are a few last minute gift ideas for the special people on your list.

Lighted Grown-up Jesus Tree Topper

Let the Light of the World light up your holiday festivities this year. He's advertised as lifelike, with actual nail-holes in his hands (You can try to attach him to your tree that way, but he'll be off in three days).

AtoneMints

If Jesus came back right now, wouldn't you want to have the freshest breath possible? Guaranteed to hide both beer and cigarette breath, so they're perfect for Sunday morning.

Bobblehead Jesus

Just place this guy in your rear dash and you can always be sure that JC has your back. (I swear I've seen this particular Jesus in the NBA. Who is that guy?)

Jesus Bandages

This is how Benny Hinn began his healing ministry. Think of the possibilities.

The Last Supper Lunchbox.

It's extra long, perfect for a hot, juicy Philadelphia cheesesteak (which, according to scholars, was ordered by nine of the twelve disciples, but they were out of luck. Philadelphia hadn't been invented yet).

The WWJD Hemp Bracelet.

This is what I'm getting my teenage daughter this year. The first question I'm going to ask is, "Would Jesus smoke this bracelet? I don't think so."

Jesus Coat Hooks

Here's a great way to make your holiday guests feel welcome in your home, while still reminding them that Christmas is only the beginning of the story. (Yes, some sick bastard is actually selling these.)

The Cruc-Z-Boy Recliner

I don't really know what to say about this. There doesn't seem to be anything easy about this easy chair. What if you drop the remote while you're all strapped in? Now THAT'S agony.

Here's the one that inspired this post in the first place:

Smile, Jesus Loves You Sucker

That's exactly how they're labeled at christiandollarstore.com. I wonder if they did that on purpose.

It's raining money! Hallelujah!

2006-12-14T07:50:00.000-05:00

I got this email yesterday from the IRS (click image to enlarge):

Pretty sweet, huh? All I have to do is give them my Social Security number (because the IRS doesn't have my Social Security number), and the credit/debit card account number where I want my tax refund sent.

So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

This is Gonna Be the Best Xmas Ever!

2006-12-07T08:15:00.000-05:00

The response has been overwhelming! Apparently, the gift of music was such a hit, that Amazon has completely sold out of all those titles, except Mylon LeFevre and Tammy Faye. Jim Post's "I Love My Life" is backordered until Easter. Clearly, everyone is in a shopping mood this Christmas. So, while I'm digging up some more gift ideas for the loved ones on your list (don't forget Dorse! hehe), here are some more musical selections for your consideration.

Only 20 shopping days left!

2006-12-04T10:19:00.000-05:00

This Christmas, give the gift of music. Here are a few ideas, from my iPod to yours.

Merry Christmas everyone!

(shout out to Bruce Garrison for the inspiration)

Stop fixing me and I'll stop fixing you.

2006-12-01T09:19:00.000-05:00

Lately, several passages from Romans 14 have come to my thinking. I especially like Eugene Peterson's translation of it. Is it just me, or does Paul suggest that being in good relationships is more important than believing the same things?

Cultivating Good Relationships

1 Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.

2-4 For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ's table, wouldn't it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn't eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God's welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.

5 Or, say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience.

6-9 What's important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God's sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you're a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli. None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters. It's God we are answerable to—all the way from life to death and everything in between—not each other. That's why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.

10-12 So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I'd say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we're all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren't going to improve your position there one bit. Read it for yourself in Scripture:

"As I live and breathe," God says,
"every knee will bow before me;
Every tongue will tell the honest truth
that I and only I am God."
So tend to your knitting. You've got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.

13-14 Forget about deciding what's right for each other. Here's what you need to be concerned about: that you don't get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. I'm convinced—Jesus convinced me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.

15-16 If you confuse others by making a big issue over what they eat or don't eat, you're no longer a companion with them in love, are you? These, remember, are persons for whom Christ died. Would you risk sending them to hell over an item in their diet? Don't you dare let a piece of God-blessed food become an occasion of soul-poisoning!

17-18 God's kingdom isn't a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness' sake. It's what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy. Your task is to single-mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you'll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you.

19-21 So let's agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don't drag them down by finding fault. You're certainly not going to permit an argument over what is served or not served at supper to wreck God's work among you, are you? I said it before and I'll say it again: All food is good, but it can turn bad if you use it badly, if you use it to trip others up and send them sprawling. When you sit down to a meal, your primary concern should not be to feed your own face but to share the life of Jesus. So be sensitive and courteous to the others who are eating. Don't eat or say or do things that might interfere with the free exchange of love.

22-23 Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don't impose it on others. You're fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you're not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you're out of line. If the way you live isn't consistent with what you believe, then it's wrong.

(Buuurp.)

2006-11-26T15:04:00.000-05:00

If you overate as I did this weekend, then join me in cheerfully accepting the rebuke of the Clive:

"He that but looketh on a plate of ham and eggs to lust after it hath already committed breakfast with it in his heart."

[/guilty]

Church screws the least of these...again.

2006-11-14T00:14:00.000-05:00

According to Britain's Daily Mail,

The Church of England has broken with tradition dogma by calling for doctors to be allowed to let sick newborn babies die.

Christians have long argued that life should preserved at all costs - but a bishop representing the national church has now sparked controversy by arguing that there are occasions when it is compassionate to leave a severely disabled child to die.

And the Bishop of Southwark, Tom Butler, who is the vice chair of the Church of England's Mission and Public Affairs Council, has also argued that the high financial cost of keeping desperately ill babies alive should be a factor in life or death decisions."

I guess this isn't surprising, coming from the church that owes it's existence to the adultery of a king. I'm way uneasy about putting a decision like that in the hands of humans.

My take on the whole Ted Haggard thing...

2006-11-10T08:43:00.000-05:00

We are all liars and deceivers. Every single one of us.

It was political PMS.

2006-11-08T11:08:00.000-05:00

Sorry about that last post. It was written in the haste of frustration and not altogether thought out. Mere mention of the Supreme Court would have brought my logic to its knees. I hope I'm allowed one intellectual lapse. I still hate politics.

Anyway, gredaadt posted this speech from Illinios Senator Barack Obama. The more I hear from this guy, the more hopeful I am that the left and the right can someday come to a reasonable working relationship.

It's a long post, but read it. It makes a lot of sense.

Did I mention that I hate politics?

2006-11-06T13:06:00.000-05:00

I will be so freaking happy when this election is over. Mark my words, it doesn't matter who gets elected. No politician (or group of politicians) is going to solve this country's problems. The priority of a Republican politician is exactly the same as that of a Democratic politician-- getting into (and remaining in) a position of power. Ideologically, I haven't heard a sensible proposal from any quarter, so it really doesn't matter to me who wins tomorrow (except that Democrats always seem to raise my taxes, even though I'm nowhere near the top 2 percent). Personally, I'm hoping that the President will feel free to ask for Donald Rumsfeld's resignation after tomorrow, but that's neither here nor there.

I really don't want to seem fatalistic about it, but I can't even imagine a solution to the extreme political division in America. We can argue all day about how we became so polarized, but the question is how do we find common ground again? I'm pretty sure tomorrow's not going to offer a solution.

Oh, to be a revolutionary.

2006-10-30T20:17:00.000-05:00

(turn up your volume)

This made me cry. Twice. I'm not entirely sure why.

Maybe affection is too simple. That's why we don't get it.

(Please note: I DO NOT WATCH OPRAH. I was working in a place where her show was on, and she featured this clip and interviewed the guy. That's the truth, I swear.)

We'll return to our regular programming, right after we sell out to the man.

2006-10-14T11:19:00.000-04:00

Bear with me as I take this post to fulfill a couple obligations.

I'm feeling much better now, but it can be a little ego stroking to get an email from a big company that says "We have identified you as an influential online presence and an opinion leader." This only weeks after a book publisher tells you, "...yours is a blog that we keep an eye on." For a moment, I wondered if I should hire an agent, until I realized that about a billion other people got the same offers.

I really don't know how my name got into this particular pot (probably a mistake), but the Philips Corporation and its partner, Douwe Egberts recently offered to send me a Senseo pod-style coffee maker in hopes that I would like it and use my vast influence to command you to leave suitcases full of large bills in the lobby of their corporate headquarters. I had seen similar machines in a couple high-end kitchen shops, and assumed it was just the latest gimmick. But still, it retails for between $70-100, and they've sold millions of these machines in Europe, and I thought, "What the hell. If it's good enough for Europeans, how can I say no? I can always put it on eBay or give it to a homeless person." So I agreed.

Wait a minute... I just remembered. About a year ago, I posted here about complaining to Philips that their DuraMax lightbulbs last a couple months instead of a couple years, as advertised. In response, they sent me a whole case of lightbulbs which was pretty nice, except that the new bulbs didn't last any longer than the ones I complained about. The way I see it, they still owe me lightbulbs for the next 9 years.

Anyway, the coffeemaker arrived last week. It's bigger than it looked in pictures, but still attractive. There was a little bit of setup involved, but the instructions were pretty clear. The machine uses small pre-measured pods (like little round teabags), very hot water and pressure to produce a very frothy, very attractive 8 oz. cuppa joe, or two 4 oz. demis in about a minute. The pods that came with the machine were a medium roast, but the selection of available coffees, cappucinos, decafs, etc. is pretty impressive, and available at all of my local supermarkets. They're a little pricey, but you can buy a reusable mesh pod and use your favorite roast, if you like.

I made several cups that evening. It was rich and delicious. Not weak, and not acidic. I would be interested in trying a stronger roast or an espresso, and I have to admit, the Senseo makes a spectacular cup of coffee. But therein lies the rub. It makes only a cup of coffee. I need a machine that makes a spectacular POT of coffee. Most mornings, I wander around the house with my 14 oz. mug, stopping for a warmup as I pass the coffeemaker. When I'm ready to leave, whatever's left goes into my 20 oz. travel mug. The Senseo, as good as it is, just doesn't fit my coffee lifestyle.

However, if you just drink one or two cups in the morning, or want to offer a guest a treat, then this machine is for you. You can pick one up pretty cheap on eBay right now (apparently, everyone had the same idea that I did). The pods are widely available, but I like the idea of the reusable pod.

In fact, if you're interested, you can have mine for free. Well, throw me, say, twenty bucks for shipping and handling, and I'll send it to you, along with the remaining coffee pods. Let me know. Supplies are limited. Operators are standing by.

I have some things to do, so the book review will have to wait a bit. Meanwhile, read reviews from bruced and Jason Clark. I don't have much to add.

More evidence that God exists.

2006-10-08T19:45:00.000-04:00

Dallas - 24

Philadelphia - 38

Dorse, the imperialist dog.

2006-09-29T13:00:00.000-04:00

Did you know that New Jersey is one of two remaining states in the union that does not allow self-service gasoline? Nope. You are not allowed to pump your own gas in the Garden State. The only reason I can think of is that they want to prevent the spread of germs by keeping people from drinking straight from the pump. I mean, you never know where that's thing has been.

Anyway, regular was $1.97/gallon this morning. This was the first tank of fuel I can remember that cost me less than $35. So, as I sat in my SUV while someone else filled my tank this morning, the little red Dorsey-in-a-devil-suit sat on my right shoulder and said, "Y'know, if only this war really was about oil, I might support it."

Where I went to church this Sunday.

2006-09-19T12:34:00.000-04:00

I received an email yesterday from someone I care deeply about who is starting to talk about her own dissatisfaction with organized religion. Parts of my reply echoed some recent posts:

"I don't know what the solution is, but for me, Church is going fishing with my friend, or getting together with some online friends and raising over $4,000 for an orphanage in eastern Europe, or going for a long motorcycle ride in the country with my daughter, or discussing God with a buddy over a beer. The kingdom of God is measured by our relationships, not our attendance at a weekly meeting. I find it ironic that religious people are often the first to break relationship when someone disagrees with them or fails to live up to their standard of performance. Didn't Jesus say that people would know his disciples by their love for others? I guess He was right."

Maybe I'm more aware of it because I tend to work alone in my job, but I just love getting together with my friends. I wish I could fully articulate the sense of connection I experience when we're together. I know a lot of people hate the word "fellowship," but for me, it's rich with meaning. Look up "fellow." It alludes to our shared interest and the common ground between us. Shaking hands in a crowd with someone you barely know is not fellowship. The most profound sort of friendship, a deeper element of relating occurs with the understanding that we have partaken of similar experience, to become "fellows" with one another.

It is in that sense that I refer to "my Church." That sense of fellowship to which Jesus referred when he said:

"I've told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I'm no longer calling you servants because servants don't understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I've named you friends because I've let you in on everything I've heard from the Father." (John 15:11-15, The Message)

It's the idea that "I've let you in on everything," that makes such friendship so dear. "I'm no longer calling you servants," or, in other words, "I don't base your value on what you can do for me. In fact, I value your life above my own."

Man, that's hardcore.

Anyway, I started this post to tell you about the awesome bike rally I went to on Sunday with my friend, Paul (I wish I had taken a camera, sorry). There were somewhere between 1800-2200 bikes on a gorgeous 65-mile run through the still-gardeny part of the Garden State. We had a great time riding, talking, hanging out. The weather was perfect, and the countryside was magnificent. The whole earth, indeed, declared the glory of the Lord. It was the best church I've been to since, well, my fishing trip the week before.

Lovin' the YouTube.

2006-09-14T17:55:00.000-04:00

As a non-cable-having person, I am aware that I miss a lot. But if I ever do get cable, Stephen Colbert will likely be the reason.

This is stinking funny:

It's funny because it pokes fun at the logic we often use to "prove" our faith.

A Head-Clearing Exercise...and Some Food for Thought.

2006-09-11T17:40:00.000-04:00

You've likely seen the t-shirt: "A bad day fishing is better than a good day working."

I'll add this: A GOOD day fishing is better than almost anything. Actually, it doesn't even have to be fishing. Just being on the water is enough for me. If it's salt water, then consider me completely at home.

A couple friends (from church) invited me out on the Delaware Bay last weekend for a little amateur angling. It was a great day. The weather was perfect, the waters relatively calm. We caught the tide just right, and in four hours, caught over a hundred fish between the three of us (we didn't keep that many, but if it enters the boat, it counts). I caught two fish at once (I was using two hooks), and then caught one fish on both hooks! Hilarious. We shared a lot of laughs and some good conversation. We talked about fishing, we talked about movies, and we talked about Jesus. My ever-cluttered mind was washed clean, for a while, at least.

I know a lot of people who left church have found themselves ostracized and ignored by their old "friends." I've lost contact with the vast majority of the people from my church, too, but since I became, um, congregationally disaffiliated, there have been a number of people from the congregation who have been a little relentless (far more than I have, I admit) in their efforts to keep our friendships alive. Unexpectedly, most of them aren't maneuvering to try to steer me back into the fold. Much like Steve's friends, they're just looking to hang out, enjoy some company, be amigos. A guy (again, from church) called today to see if I'm available to go to a motorcycle rally next Sunday. I'm definitely in.

Scott, over at ironicobservances put up this post, suggesting some possible reasons that people go to church. I considered some of the reasons usually given for congregating on Sunday: worship God, learn God's word, pray, give, encourage and support each other, etc. Pretty much all of these things can (and should) be lived out each and every day by someone who follows Christ (ok, by me, at least. I won't judge you, godless sodomites.). But there's little that compares to the dynamic of doing those things together, with people I love. I have to admit, I miss that.

Now, I'm not ready to go back and drink the Koolaid, but I'm seeing the critical value of those relationships, and I submit that, while a lot of relationships in the church are contrived and meaningless, some of them are real. And church, at least, gave us a convenient opportunity to get together. But instead of using the institution as the starting point to engineer "fellowship," we must begin to see our relationships as the basis of what the Church (capital C) is meant to be.

I don't know what form it should take, but I want to be more intentional about living out community with people I care about.

An Unexpected Encounter.

2006-08-25T13:07:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, on my way to a job, a lady followed me into a 7-11 parking lot and pulled in directly behind me, as if to block my quick retreat. Immediately, I tried to replay the last several miles of traffic, supposing that I had done something stupid while trying to find the new Godscrum podcast on my iPod...oh...wait, nevermind. Well, turns out that she pulled in to tell me that she liked the "Religion Kills" sticker on the back of my truck. I got it from Revolution Church and put it there last year, along with a little plastic Jesus fish, in hopes that the evangelical contradiction might cause just enough confusion to generate a question or two.

I've often run through some potential responses in my mind, trying to articulate how religion is a human construct that denies and ultimately kills Christ's true message of love, forgiveness, restoration and peace. I was mentally retrieving one of these responses when the lady started telling me about a catalog that she had just received and that I would love some of the stickers she had seen there, such as, "Who Would Jesus Bomb," "Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing their idiot," "He's NOT my President," "Bush is a four-letter word," "Give Bush an inch, and he thinks he's a ruler."

Hmmm... That's not what I expected. Not at all. I put that sticker on my vehicle as a commentary on the state of the American church, but somehow this lady interpreted it as a left-leaning political statement. I admit, I have moved more toward the center than I once was (I was so far to the right, I had to eat with my left hand, so I wouldn't bump my elbow), but my intent for that sticker wasn't really political at all.

I think I may have just learned something about people's perceptions and assumptions. Now if I can just figure out what it is...

The Terrorists have won.

2006-08-23T14:13:00.000-04:00

Comments are off at StupidChurchPeople.

She is seven, and she will kill you.

2006-08-09T10:29:00.000-04:00

This is Julia, my little one.

Watch the video (34 sec).

Do not mess with us.

Large, and At-Large.

2006-08-08T08:33:00.000-04:00

I've felt something changing over the last few weeks. I can't put my finger on it, and I'm not sure it would matter much if I could. I'm a little too busy to dwell on it at the moment. Work is crazy, trying to get everything done to go on vacation. But I wonder to what degree these outward material changes are manifestations of...ahh, never mind.

I cut my hair off last week. I really did feel more like myself with long hair, but I was getting very weary of all the maintenance. The weekly cost of Product alone was starting to break me. My stylist was extremely nervous. "Are you sure you want to do this?" One friend told me I've sold out to the man. Maybe, but the man gave back a little. I picked up a new MacBook over the weekend. Even better, Apple's offering a $179 rebate on iPods when you buy a computer, so I figured this would also be the right time to upgrade to the 60GB Video model.

For all the computers I've owned, I've never had a laptop. I've been forced to wait until I get home to check mail, read blogs, respond to comments and all that. No more. In fact I'm posting this while I'm taking a break from work (I'm not even sure whose Wi-Fi network I'm on--sweet!). More freedom. Can I handle it?

Too soon to tell.

File under "WTF?"

2006-07-31T11:46:00.000-04:00

This makes my freaking head explode.

The City Council of Las Vegas, Nevada, the city that craps money, just made it illegal to give food to homeless people in city parks.

Read about it here and here.

I don't have much to say about this that wouldn't be considered obscene by most people. Use your imagination.

If you wish let Mayor Goodman and the Council know what a bunch of f...um, stupid poopypants they are, go here.

Senor Jefe es EL Hombre.

2006-07-28T01:27:00.000-04:00

My little brother, slayer of crabs and ribeyes, lover of southern sweet tea, Yankee fan (snicker), and the one guy I can talk to about damn near anything, turned 39 for the first time today.

Happy Birthday Jeff. Happy Blogaversary, too.

I have a couple favorite stories about Senor Jefe from growing up. We went to Florida on vacation and were frolicking in the pool at our motel (near the Krispy Kreme). Jeff, who was about 4, had to go to the bathroom, so he found our mother, sunning herself in a lounge chair, reading one of those trashy books (you know the ones--full of blushing bosoms and heaving loins). Well, mom was pretty comfortable where she was and didn't want to take little Jefe back to the room. She whispered to Senor Jefe to just pee in the pool ([mom's reasoning] I mean, all the kids do it. That's why they put all that chlorine in there, right?). So Jeff walked to the edge of the pool, pulled his swimsuit down to his ankles, grabbed ahold and let 'er rip. About a hundred people stopped what they were doing and dropped their jaws, just like the saloon scene in an old western (the kid on the diving board stopped in mid-air). Senor Jefe finished his business with a couple quick shakes, pulled his swimsuit back up, and resumed frolicking. Our mother was mortified, but not enough to leave her lounge chair and dirty book.

It was a different time back then--a time when, as toddlers, we used to stand in the front seat of the car on the way to the store, and ride in the open backs of pickup trucks. Back then, even astronauts weren't strapped in as securely as a toddler of today is required to be. In those days, we were disciplined by being thrashed within inches of our lives, unless we had company. One time, Jeff got busted for something during a dinner party. Our dad decided that breaking out the belt might break the festive mood of the gathering, so he instructed Jeff to stand with his nose in the corner. Later, as everyone gathered in the kitchen for dessert and coffee, a loud THUD was heard coming from the living room. Our parents had totally forgotten about Jeff and he had fallen asleep standing in the corner. As I recall, he got extra dessert that night as recompense.

It's no wonder we're so screwed up. It's our parents' fault.

Kingdom Building and the Agenda-Free Illusion

2006-07-21T16:55:00.000-04:00

Debate has a way of breeding polarity. In the zeal for one's point of view to prevail, one tends to offer only those facts and ideas that support a particular perspective, even to the point of hyperbole, despite an awareness of relevant information that might temper the argument. The result is usually the temptation to pick one side or the other and win one for the Gipper, or take America back, or stand for Jesus...whatever. Unconsciously, I think, getting to the actual Truth seems to become secondary.

In my last post, I struggled with whether my life of service to others (or apparent lack thereof) sufficiently constitutes "following Christ." I confess that I pick and choose the easy bits and too often give lip service to the hard bits, much like the child who moves the spinach around on his plate to make it appear that he's eaten some. An anonymous commenter (if I understood him/her/it correctly) suggested that feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, alleviating poverty, lifting up the downtrodden and offering justice to the oppressed are all noble avocations, but of no real value if not offered alongside a proclamation of the gospel of Christ. I think that argument can be credibly made, and I might even be persuaded to see some merit in that thinking. But I don't think that's the real issue.

The hypocrisy of the American church, as I see it, is that we tend to offer the "gospel" as if telling people is enough. Ending poverty is not an ecclesial priority. Justice for everyone will not be high on anyone's list this Sunday, just as long as the A/C is kicking and the coffee is strong (even if the poor bastard who grew the coffee can't feed his family). The folks on this side are happy to take a collection to send a missionary to tell Juan Valdez about Jesus. But if you suggest that the church kitchen adopt a policy to only purchase fair-trade coffee so that Juan can get a fair price for his crop, you're met with blank stares, or worse, the excuse that buying the 40 lb. can of Maxwell House from BJ's is a matter of good stewardship.

Likewise, on the other side of this coin are Christians who want to reach out and help the whole world, build authentic relationships, stamp out poverty, feed the poor, use renewable energy (if you do this, talk to Zeke), and generally want to make the world better, but refuse to mention Christ for fear of being seen as proselytizing. Somehow, in the quest to be real, the idea of agenda diminishes authenticity.

(I have leaned toward hyperbole on both sides of this explanation, but you get the picture, right?)

Does it have to be one or the other? I mean, if you see someone in need and just pat him on the head and say "Jesus loves you, I'll pray for you, be well," and don't meet that need, scripture (James 2:16, to be precise) makes it pretty clear that you're full of shit. It would be better if you didn't name Christ at all. But, on the other side, if you're meeting that need, and you're a Christian, isn't Christ bound to enter the picture at some point? Is it sufficient to do good "just because?" I mean, there is more to the story, isn't there? Or do you want to convince people that you reach out to them because you're a genuinely good person? Steve Chastain recently asked if there was such a thing as genuine altruism. Everything has its own agenda--even being agenda-free is an agenda. That's not cynical. It's just the way it is. So why should it be a problem to say, "I extend this helping hand because I love you, and I love you because of Christ?"

I know, I know...there are people who do not name Christ and are still charitable. But I have no basis for addressing that. I don't know what motivates them. I only know that whatever good I do and whatever love is in my heart for others is inextricably tied to my love for Christ (when I'm not trying to call attention to myself). I can only speak to that.

It just occurred to me that this is just a twist on the old faith vs. works argument.

It has to be both. You can't cram your faith down people's throats, but as you invest yourself in people, making the world better, listen to Peter:

"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." (1 Peter 3:15-16)

Either way, I'd give this guy a fifty, just for being honest.

I never even got to the question.

2006-07-11T13:09:00.000-04:00

Tony Campolo posed the question, "If there were no heaven and no hell, would you still follow Jesus?"

I started to answer, but stopped. I had to admit that I'm not even sure I follow Jesus now. I've been a Christian for many years. I believe that Jesus is who He says He is. I invited Him into my heart (over a hundred times...and counting! Thank you, A/G youth camp!). I always cooked at the men's fellowship breakfast. Spoke in tongues (but was never "slain in the Spirit"--I'm no wacko). I do my best to be obscenely generous. I've experienced immediate healing when I called together the elders of my church. I pray (for other people, not just myself). I don't know too many orphans, but I help widows and reach out to strangers whenever I can. I go to third-world countries and help build meeting places for the Church to gather. And this little light of mine? I'm gonna...well, you know. Is that following?

I'm trying to reconcile the activities of my life to the idea of following. If you say you're following me, that means if I go into the supermarket, then sometime shortly thereafter, you go into the supermarket, right? If you're following me, and I walk out a window, then what? You don't have to walk out the window, but then, you can't say you follow me, can you?

I'm reading Kierkegaard, who seems to believe that the supreme purpose of the gospel is to wreck my life. Shane Claiborne's not helping, either.

The idea of following Jesus has somehow been blurred into these other Christian activities. I'm not saying these things have no merit. I just question whether they necessarily represent an accurate definition of following. If I say I'm following Jesus, then it stands to reason that I am going somewhere that Jesus has been, or that I am doing something Jesus did. Yeah, we did the gay coffee thing, and I've sat in the gutter and befriended homeless guys in the city. But I still stop for a cheesesteak on the way out of town and come home to my sleep-number bed (Jesus didn't have a bad back like I do, you see).

Is there a balance (as we all so desperately hope)? Or is that a cop out? Would you still follow? Do you follow?

If this world is not my home, why does my mail keep coming here?

2006-07-04T13:52:00.000-04:00

On September 16, 2001, the first Sunday after the twin towers fell in NYC, my friend, Jay, a missionary to China, spoke in my church. I think it was providential that we heard from the perspective of someone who had lived outside the US for a decade. His entire sermon was summed up by his opening statement, one that I have repeated many times:

"Does your Christianity determine the kind of American you are, or will your patriotism influence what kind of Christian you are?"

It's a straight question, although it may seem loaded in light of recent history and the ongoing debate over whether the forefathers intended America to be a "Christian nation." ***begin brief tangent*** I think that a great many of the founding fathers were devout Christians, and some of them hoped that America would be built as a Christian nation, but I do not think that such a notion was the concensus among the leadership. It is the habit of Christian Nationalists to attribute any acknowledgment of God by a leader as intent for a Christian foundation. I don't consider such to be intellectually robust reasoning, any more than I would consider the myriad Greek mythological elements of Washingtonian architecture to be a serious homage to "the gods." To be sure, Christianity dominated the culture of the day, so it stands to reason that Judeo-Christian values would be the underpinning of a new society, but that is a far, far cry from the theocracy that so many seem to endorse. ***end brief tangent***

It appears to me that far too many people are unable to untangle their politics from their faith. It's easier to understand the current political debate when you consider that a great deal of conservative evangelicalism looks more like Old Testament Judaism than it does the New Covenant. Politics and true Christian faith don't really mix well because the faith is ultimately about selflessness and service, and will inevitably be either trampled or corrupted by the political machine. But politics and religion were made for each other, because they're both about power (and the inherent necessity to compromise in order to obtain it). In that regard, guys like Ralph Reed and Jim Dobson are, sadly, right where they belong. Just like the disciples, they appear to want to establish the kingdom by usurpation--by a sort of government takeover. Does that sound like Jesus to anyone? Not to me.

Nevertheless, I love America. I'm still moved by patriotic images (except for "Flag-Wrapped Jesus" [wtf?]). It's almost impossible for me to hear someone sing the national anthem (even badly) without shedding a tear. I have no qualms about saying "God bless America" (or that God has blessed America), and I certainly don't consider that doing so implies that God endorses the United States over other nations. Nor do I believe that America is defined by whoever the current leader happens to be. I believe that the genius of the Constitution is the constant tension of the separation between powers. And what makes America great has little, if anything, to do with what happens in a few sun-bleached buildings (whitewashed sepulchers, maybe?) in Washington, D.C. I'm just thinking out loud, here, but I love America because we can talk about this stuff, and we can raise hell, and we can disagree, and we can still have each others' backs. I don't know how to describe it, really.

But I love it.

God, bless America.

Let This Be a Lesson to All of You.

2006-06-26T12:11:00.000-04:00

Thanks again to everyone who helped us with the PhillyPride event. And thanks to everyone (well, almost) who joined the discussion. I think it was important that we talked about it. Ok, maybe not, but it helped me a lot (and that's what really matters, isn't it? Me?).

That said,

The World Is Not a Stage

Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don't make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won't be applauding. When you do something for someone else, don't call attention to yourself. You've seen them in action, I'm sure--"playactors" I call them-- treating prayer meeting and street corner alike as a stage, acting compassionate as long as someone is watching, playing to the crowds. They get applause, true, but that's all they get. When you help someone out, don't think about how it looks. Just do it--quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out.
(Matthew 6:1-4, The Message)

I enjoy irony. It's very...um...ironic.

The Funny Thing About Seeds...

2006-06-17T12:39:00.000-04:00

...is that they're useless in your hands, and you have no control over them once they're scattered.

Sorry for the delay in getting this post up. Business has been, well, busy. On top of that, I started physical therapy on my shoulder this week (It's pretty torn up, but I've gained back over 30 degrees of range of motion in just 3 sessions. Woohoo!), so there hasn't been much time to write. Even so, I find myself at a bit of a loss for words to describe the day. But, as usual, I'm not going to let that stop me.

If you're just tuning in, my buddy, Mike, and I (and our wives, it turned out) went to the Philadelphia Pride Day event last Sunday and gave away a bunch of coffee-store gift cards in what was intended to be a token expression of kindness. In the cards, we identified ourselves as a couple straight Christians and apologized for our part in the religious system that has excoriated them so zealously for so long. There was no sales pitch, and there was no condemnation. After some debate, we decided to include an email address (in 6-point type, down in the corner), in case...well, just in case (You can take the boy out of evangelicalism, but it's tough to take evangelicalism out of the boy. We admit it).

There's been a fair amount of discussion about whether what we did was genuine, or if there was some element of agenda involved. Was this really kindness, or just stupid church people (or ex-church people) being stupid church people? Were we sincere about wanting to reach out in love to the GLBT community? I certainly believe so. But was this the right way to go about it? Well, to be honest, by the time we got there, I had no idea. But if we didn't do it, we were going to be stuck drinking a hell of a lot of coffee. And even if it was stupid, I wanted the people there to know that not every Christian thinks that God loves gay people less than others. In any event, as I said to someone recently, I felt very empty-handed as I stepped into that crowd, knowing that if they knew I profess Christ, they would likely assume that I hated them. The thought wounded me.

I wasn't sure what to expect, and I tried not to expect anything at all. We paid our admission and got our Bud Light wristbands. It was a little humiliating to wear the Bud Light logo on my wrist all day. I asked if they had any Yuengling or New Castle Brown Ale wristbands, but no dice (note to self: contact organizers and ask them to solicit a better beer sponsor for next year). Philadelphia's Penn's Landing is a very excellent location for an event like this--right there on the river, in full view of the Ben Franklin Bridge, several levels, with plenty of trees. It's also a beautiful (if crowded) place to see a concert or watch the holiday fireworks.

We wandered around for some time, just taking it all in. There were scores of exhibitors and vendors scattered throughout the various levels of the venue. This appeared to be a very well organized event (it has not always enjoyed such a reputation). We strolled to the far side of Penn's Landing just in time to catch the very end of the Pride Day Parade. As we approached, the float from the Metropolitan Community Church of Philadelphia stopped for a few minutes, with people dancing and singing some very infectious gospel music. As the medley transitioned into a kicking black-gospel rendition of "Jesus Loves Me," the people on the float held up signs as they marched in a circle. "I am gay," one sign said. "I am a mother," said another. "I am a friend," "I am a daughter," "I am a loyal employee," "I am loved." The imagery was powerful, making plain the humanity that we all share. As the last person rounded the back of the float, tears filled my eyes as I read his sign.

"I am a Christian!"

Bingo. I took a good look at that man holding the sign, and thought to myself, that's my brother up there. That guy loves Jesus, and he already knows the thing that brought us here.

So I reached into my pack and dug out a handful of cards. It was pretty straightforward, really, and rather uneventful. I just handed out cards to random passersby, saying nothing more than, "Hey, have some free coffee." I didn't try to engage anyone in conversation, nor did I stick around for feedback. I was just there to give a gift. Anonymously (I thought). There were plenty of guys handing out flyers for everything from the petition against the marriage amendment (I signed it), to the gay bikers' event in November (BTW, anyone want to go to jock strap night at the Bike Shop next week? Could be fun.). Whenever someone offered me a flyer, I said, "I'll trade you," and handed them a coffee card. At the table where we signed the petition against the marriage amendment, someone asked, "Is everyone registered to vote?" The guy next to me said "Yep, since 1971," to which I replied, "Sorry, I was only 8 then." He turned my way, and said, (in his best stereotypical gay tone) "Biiitch." We both laughed, and I said, "Sorry. Let me buy you a cup of coffee!" He accepted the card with good humor and said thanks, even after he read "This kindness is offered in the name of Jesus" on the cover.

Overall, we considered the experience positive. Most people said thanks, and accepted the cards, but not everyone was receptive. My wife found a few cards on the ground (with the gift cards still inside), and one guy walked back to Mike's wife and said, "In the name of Jesus, you can have this back." But a couple people came back to Mike and thanked him for the gift and the message inside. One lady turned out to be a priest. I don't know what church she was from, or if she was gay or straight, but she thanked Mike and told him she planned to use our message in her sermon this week. We were very encouraged by that.

After the cards were gone, we hung out for a little while (I still regret not stopping at the booth where the guys were selling kilts. They were cool. I still want one.). But our hunger was getting the best of us, and the lines at the festival were miles long (I still haven't heard exact attendance figures, but I'm guessing it had to be between 15-20,000 people). Just outside the exit, we saw the protesters. A bunch of people from Repent-America were there with flags, signs and a bullhorn. We stopped for a minute just to observe. Listening to the guy rail against homosexuals with such condemnation really made my heart hurt. It was a bad scene, and there's not much to say beyond that, except that police allowed a gay Christian to stand on a chair and argue with them. He did pretty well.

The next day, we had a couple messages in the email account we had set up. So far, we've received several messages and they've all been very positive (at least, I think so--there's one that I'm not 100% certain about--it's either sincere or a little sarcastic). It also turns out that one of us handed a card to Sarah Blazucki, a staff writer for the Philadelphia Gay News, who in turn, contacted us for an interview. I debated whether or not to call her (I mean, so much for anonymous), but after some thought and some good advice, I conceded. I spoke pretty freely with her for about forty minutes. She asked some very thoughtful questions and I did my best to answer them. I also asked about her response to being handed a gift card at the event. She told me that she wasn't offended at all, that she liked that we weren't in-your-face, and she was curious to know more about us. I was grateful to hear it. She wrote a very fair article about us which hit the street yesterday. I've been interviewed by reporters 4 times in my life for various things, and Sarah is the first journalist who has not significantly misrepresented me in some way. My hat's off to you, Sarah. And while we weren't mentioned specifically in the paper's editorial feature, I want to think that our activities at the event made some impression. You decide.

People at one end of the spectrum thought we were abandoning the faith in doing this, and some at the other end thought it was hollow, useless, even insulting. But most seem to fall somewhere in the middle. If you consider it (as we tried to) as a "seed-scattering" effort, then you'll understand that some seeds sprout and others don't. And I don't blame anyone who rejects us. God knows we've earned it, and five bucks certainly won't fix it. But I'm gratified to see the effect of our miniscule gesture multiplied as our message is repeated in the media to an even wider audience. I hope this will open the door to healing and relationship-building.

Imperfect? You bet. I don't really do perfect.

I'm still glad we went.

A Double-Edged Sword

2006-06-14T09:44:00.000-04:00

I'm crazy busy this week, and will post about our Sunday outing (no pun intended). But this has been gnawing at me.

How do you condemn self-righteousness without becoming self-righteous in the process?

A Hot Cup of Coffee in My Name...

2006-05-28T21:07:00.000-04:00

If you listen to Steve Brown or (the late?) Godscrum, you've likely heard of Sandy Johns and In The Name of Jesus. I have been blown away by this chick since January, when Zeke first brought her to our attention. For all the details of her group, I'll refer you to her site. But the idea is to do acts of kindness in Jesus' name, without further agenda nor personal recognition, especially to people who likely have a distorted impression of Jesus because of the actions and attitudes of His (ahem) followers.

Nashville-based In the Name of Jesus seeks out prostitutes, the homeless, homosexuals, abortion-workers (gulp!) and others who have been beaten up and rejected by the church, and give thoughtful, useful gifts with no strings attached, except a card that says "This kindness is being shown to you in the name of Jesus." This is done in hope that the recipient might be provoked to reconsider his/her perception of who Jesus is. This is in addition to random acts of kindness done spontaneously whenever an opportunity presents itself.

It'll never work. It's too easy.

I think not. It's simple and straightforward, and it's a great way (to borrow a vintage phrase from Josh Sager) "to show Christ's love in a tangible way."

Well, color me inspired. My buddy, Mike, and I have been talking this over and plan to attend Philadelphia's Pride Day 2006 Parade and Festival on June 11, where we will reach out to our GLBT friends with a small gift in Jesus' name. We will purchase $5 gift cards from a specialty coffee store (who has asked that I do not use their brand name on my site).and hand them out to people at the event. Inside the cardholder will be another small card. On one side, it will say, "This kindness is being shown to you in the name of Jesus." On the other side will be our brief statement of apology for our participation in the judgmental attitudes that have hurt them and misrepresented the message of Christ. I'm still working on this statement, but will share it when I'm done.

Whatever your theological position on homosexuality, you'd have to be in some serious denial not to acknowledge that many in the church, especially fundamentalist and evangelical churches have been harsh in both their judgemental rhetoric and exclusionary behavior towards gay people. If you ask me whether homosexuals will go to hell, I will tell you that it has nothing to do with the way Christ commands us to love. And love we must.

As of now, we have 300 gift cards (counting the 100 cards that In The Name of Jesus has generously committed to give us). Two guys will be able to give away that many cards in pretty short order, so I'm hoping that my friends will want to get involved. If you're willing to help, you can do it a couple different ways.

-- click the button to donate via PayPal (NOTE: This method is NOT tax-deductible, and is, therefore, far more spiritual).

-- send a check to In The Name of Jesus at this address. Sandy will buy the cards and send them to me (NOTE: This method IS tax-deductible, and is, therefore, far better stewardship of resources).

-- buy some $5 gift cards (in the paper card carriers) and mail them to me (NOTE: This method seems like a waste of time, but whatever makes you comfortable).

If you elect one of the mail options, you must act pretty quickly (like today), and drop me an email to let me know how much you're sending, so I can plan accordingly. If you're one of those who has to have some sort of incentive to give, then ask for offer L3J254 and I'll send you a miracle prayer cloth that I've blessed with my own touch (it's 2-ply, only the best).

I'm very excited about this. I mean, I've been sitting on my ass bitching and blathering on about this and that for the better part of a year. It feels good to do something. Hopefully this will be the first of many such outreaches.

Everyone in Cannes Must Be Catholic.

2006-05-19T13:59:00.000-04:00

I saw "The Da Vinci Code" this morning. I'm leaving for a weekend getaway this afternoon, and I didn't want to wait until next week, so I caught the early show (10:15am) at my local cineplex. Contrary to what I had read, this movie did not suck (not a lot, anyway). No, it wasn't a great art film, and it certainly wasn't Tom Hanks' best performance, but it was still a fun ride. I didn't really notice whether Audrey Tautou acted well or not (when you're that cute, does it really matter?). As advertised, Ian McKellen was brilliant, and the albino killer-monk was scary as hell.

The short version of my thoughts on the movie's implications (yes, I do have a short version):

The book was a novel. The movie was, well, a movie. I suspended my disbelief for two and a half hours and enjoyed a hell of a good story. I even found myself rooting for them to find the tomb of Mary Magdalene. But when the movie was over, guess what? My beliefs were intact. Jesus is still the Son of God. He died and resurrected. He made everything new. He saved my ass. I don't doubt that one tiny bit.

But I have to tell you this. As I was leaving the theater, I rounded a corner and (I am not making this up, I swear) found myself standing face to face with a 6'4" albino guy talking on a cell phone. It scared me so bad, I think I peed myself a little.

The Point of All This.

2006-05-18T14:01:00.000-04:00

Mine is kind of a weird site. Unlike some, I don't think I really have a theme to speak of. I just post whatever's on my mind, a lot of complaining and scattered silliness, with an occasional point. To tell the truth, most of my best writing gets done commenting on other people's sites (you're welcome).

JimmyBob raised an interesting question about whether all this bitching does any good. Maybe not the bitching so much as the way we do it. He specifically questions the use and purpose of ridicule as an effective means of addressing "a church gone astray." As I responded with a rather lengthy comment, some things began to coalesce in my thinking regarding just why I do this.

I need to stop here and say that I love JimmyBob. We look at a lot of things from two very different places these days, but I know he loves God and I know he loves people, and that's the common ground from which we can build a conversation*.

Here's my comment to his post:

"Interesting point, JimmyBob. And I absolutely agree that faith can endure any attack. As my brother always says, If my faith can't stand up to the questions, then it's not a faith worth having. But let me challenge your perception of those "on the outside" a little.

I certainly don't speak for everyone who has left the church for whatever reason, but I need to say that I no longer consider ANY of my opinions nor methods the answer to "a church gone astray." I don't consider my use of satire and parody to ALWAYS constitute ridicule, nor do I employ such in an effort to induce change within the church. I have spent YEARS (as you know) attempting to impart and induce sensible scriptural perceptions among the brethren. And to some degree, I have succeeded (except with the brethren who hold the power of change in a religious death-grip).

Now I find myself on the outside--my sincere and loving (I believe they were--at first, anyway) attempts to provoke broader thinking and effective praxis now vilified as rebellion and conspiracy (they were certainly neither).

My use of humor, however biting (and it only bites because of the truth of it), is not aimed at causing church leaders to recognize their apostasy. I consider many of them to be irretrievably delusional. I'm looking more to connect with others who have read about Jesus from the gospels, listened to His words, and recognize the great distance that exists between that and the American church. My message is not just bitterness and resentment (although I admit it's there), but hope that we can find some form of fellowship that revolves around the real Jesus, not the American flag-waving Republican caricature of Jesus that I was offered Sunday after Sunday.

You seem to suggest that those who criticize are likely on the road to rejecting Christ. Not so. Here on the blogs, there have been several instances that I have responded to a mischaracterization of Jesus, by saying something like, "If that's who Christ is, then I want no parts of him." Please don't mistake the meaning there. Such a comment does not mean that I'm might reject the real Jesus. All it means is that I want no part of THAT misrepresentation of Christ.

Unlike Voltaire, my aim is not to discredit the truth about Christ, but to redeem it from those who have manipulated it into a self-serving entity whose primary purpose is to keep itself going.

Personally, I don't hold out much hope that the institution-at-large can be brought into line with what I perceive to be scriptural priorities, but that is not to say that no good thing happens there. For all its shortcomings, the church (small c) gets some things right, and bears some fruit. That's fine. But a lot of people think Jesus is way bigger and His message way broader than that to which the church has confined them.

To answer your question, though. Pointing out hypocrisy and unscriptural practices does not necessarily constitute ridicule. Even if it does, such commentary is not offered in an attempt to correct. It's too late for that. It's offered as context for the rest of us. We must be self-aware as we proceed.

And a lot of the time, it's just venting steam, to keep my head from exploding."

I Got an MRI for My Birthday.

2006-05-05T12:46:00.000-04:00

Since my brother outted me already, yeah, I'm 43 today.

So I went in for an MRI on my shoulder this morning. I've never had one, but I've heard that some people get uncomfortable. I've never been particularly claustrophobic (until today), but how bad could it be? Besides, I've heard that they give you headphones to listen to music or even an angled mirror pointed at a TV.

So the gal in the scrubs has me empty my pockets, put in some foam earplugs and lay on a foot-wide table. Without any preparation for what to expect (like how many eternities it will feel like before it's over), she tells me to be absolutely still. The table rises, and begins sliding backwards. Suddenly, I'm understanding why I want to be cremated and not placed in a coffin when I die. Let me see if I can explain this any better:

(these are actual measurements)

You do the math. Although I must admit, the Freudian implications of squeezing a man my size into an opening that size are noteworthy.

Then the scan commenced. I knew it would be loud, but holy sweet mother Mary! And where are my headphones? After a few minutes (2 eternities in MRI time), my right arm, wedged between my body and the tube, began to lose sensation from loss of circulation. I tried to say this to the person on the other end of the little speaker, but apparently, the speaker on her side wasn't working, or the sight of me stuffed into her little tube prompted her to step out for a cannolli.

Eventually (about 18 eternities later), she came back and announced that we're almost through. Trust me when I tell you that her idea of almost through means "That cannolli was delicious. I think I'll have a coffee to wash it down. There's a Starbucks on the other side of town. Be right back!"

It was about this time I realized that I could never be a government agent, because I would hand over the keys to every nuke in Iowa, even press the red button myself, to get out of this contraption. I was able to endure the last few eternities by promising myself over and over that I was NOT going to beat the hell out of this chick the minute she let me out of this thing--but only because I couldn't feel my arms, and she'd likely kick my ass.

Obviously, I made it out alive. I stopped for some breakfast, and then came home to lots of well-wishing birthday emails and phone messages. Knowing you have friends makes everything ok, doesn't it? And tomorrow, Mrs. Dorsey is taking me to the Big Apple to see Spamalot at the Shubert Theater (WOO HOO!)

But it goes without saying that you're more likely to find me manning the pledge-lines at TBN than ever again darkening the doors of Booth Radiology, Severan Professional Center, Suite 105, Hurffville-Cross Keys Rd. ,Sewell, NJ 08080.

Pour me some of that, Bill W.

2006-05-03T17:13:00.001-04:00

I really enjoy reading Rick's blog, New Life Emerging. Rick has a way of stating very poignant truths in a sort of soothing, laid-back manner that makes me feel the way I do when I read Donald Miller. I especially relate to this line in his profile: "Personally, I don't have the guts to follow Jesus, so I ofen settle for being a Christian." Solid gold.

His latest post, Heart to Heart,really struck a chord with me. It's not long. Read it. Here's an excerpt:

"...I like to hear more about folks' experiences of God more than the latest theologian they have just read. What's God doing in your heart? That seems to be real.

Heart to heart seems to always work while belief to belief makes people act as if they have no heart.

Heart to heart is not much in the way of doctrines but more in the way of experiences. I think that is why I like 12-step meetings so much; folks are talking about their experiences of God more than they do their beliefs. They speak from their heart, and because they do, they speak to my heart.

It's very tempting to argue the jot and tittle of our respective theologies, but in so doing, it's all too easy to miss the heart connection. Why is it so easy to skip the love part? If Jesus were here today (physically, I mean), I think He'd look at most of us with sad eyes as we tried to pin him down on the issues.

Now I gotta find me a 12-step meeting. Sounds way more like my idea of church.

I'd rather go to the Apple Store than church.

2006-04-25T21:34:00.000-04:00

I mean, can you do this at your church?

This is me AT church, right after they say "It's good to be in God's house," and just before they say "Welcome to the friendliest church in town."

Sunday's Comin'...But It's Friday.

2006-04-14T00:01:00.000-04:00

"For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." (1 Cor. 1)

I have to be honest. I don't get as excited about Easter as I probably should.

Easter is a great day and all, and I don't mean to sound like a complete heretic, but Sunday just doesn't impress me so much. I mean, yes, He arose, roll away the stone, power over death, yes, yes, yes. But of course He arose. Of course God raised Him from the dead. He's God, for, uh, Pete's sake! Is it really that much of a trick? Don't get me wrong. I understand what the resurrection represents and it's awesome, and I'm grateful, and I don't want to diminish it. But to me, that was the easy part.

Friday was where the rubber met the road. On Friday, I hurt Him. I hurt Him a lot. A hell of a lot. And He took it, alone, abandoned by the people He loved, who He thought loved Him. I get a pain in my chest just trying to think about it.

And it's not as if He sucked it up and turned Himself over to the authorities just once, and then it was out of His hands. His submission to that torture was continual. At any moment, He could have stopped it with a word. Imagine the scourge opening up your back, knowing another blow was coming, knowing you could stop it. Imagine having the will to take it.

"...his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man
and his form marred beyond human likeness..."(Isaiah 52:14b)

On Friday, the transaction that saved my ass took place. He paid for that thing I did yesterday, and for the thing I'll likely do tomorrow. There was nothing I could offer Him, except more pain. It seems like that's all I'm good for, causing Him pain. But still, He did it.

Foolishness? It's freaking madness! It's love that I can't fathom. It's love of which I can never be worthy. I can never deserve it. Part of me feels guilty for even partaking of it, except, suddenly, that part's clean, too.

My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought,
My sin, not in part, but the whole
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more!
Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord, O my soul!
--Horatio Spafford

Sunday's coming, I know. But the passage that gives me chills doesn't say, "Worthy is the Lamb that rose..." Today is Friday. Today is the day that leaves me speechless.

"Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they sang:
'Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
and honor and glory and praise!'

Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing:
'To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be praise and honor and glory and power,
for ever and ever!'"

(Revelation 5:11-13)

Insomniac Beer Goggles?

2006-04-10T21:16:00.000-04:00

Ok, I couldn't sleep. I was laying awake, my mind all abuzz with thoughts of the Holy Chip. I hope it gets here soon, but I had to get some sleep. Maybe if I turned on the TV...cool, Alias is in syndication. After Alias, comes back to back commecial-free prosperity, Kenneth Copeland, followed by Dr. Creflo A. Dollar (On the show, all references to him include his middle initial, I guess to keep people from confusing him with, uh, Creflo J Dollar?). Interestingly, they each buy their hour of time on the Philadelphia Fox affiliate, but neither of them buys the commercial time that occurs between their two programs. That got snatched up by a porn site/900 number line advertising a harem of young ladies who recently celebrated their eighteenth birthdays and are waiting for you to join them (shame on you if you clicked that). So the order of service is sermon - porno ad - sermon. XXX Church has nothing on these guys.

Anyway, I start flipping stations and find the local TBN affiliate station celebrating Brother Paul Crouch's 72nd birthday. Well, I haven't seen ole Brother Paul in a coon's age. And he looks exactly the same as the last time I saw him. But who's that gal standing next to him? She sort of looks like a bad boardwalk chalk-artist caricature of Pamela Anderson. My jaw dropped when I realized that this was none other than the original drag queen for Jesus, Jan Crouch. Whoa! What happened? I remember Sister Jan like this:

and this:

and this:

(ok, sorry)

But now,

if your vision is really blurry from lack of sleep or if you've had a few beers, you don't even recognize her. If you're sleep deprived AND have had a few beers, she almost looks attractive. I mean, does this look like a woman in her (very) late 60's?

Well I did a little digging, and it appears that Mrs. Crouch has, um, had a little work done. I contacted my source (being the keeper of the One True Chip comes with some extraordinary connections in very high places). Anyway, my source tells me that she's not through, either. Her current look is little more than a stepping stone to her ultimate cosmetic surgical destination:

Operators are standing by...

Your Personal Christian Horoscope/Prophetic Word...

2006-04-03T10:13:00.000-04:00

...is available now at LarkNews.
Here's mine:

"Stop praying for that thing you've been asking God for. He said no. Get over it."

Breaking News...

2006-03-30T10:56:00.000-05:00

Towards Restoration

2006-03-28T07:39:00.002-05:00

I didn't post about it here because it was being talked about everywhere else, but back in January, over at Our of Ur blog, Mark Driscoll, one of the pastors at Mars Hill Church, publicly lambasted Brian McClaren, among others, for what he perceived as Emergent's failure to take a strong position on homosexuality. There has been a great deal of heated discussion about this, with people on one side or another of the issue drawing the battle lines, choosing sides and standing behind either McClaren or Driscoll. It looked like the beginnings of your basic church split.

For those of us who were at least keeping an eye on Emergent, it was disappointing. I mean, these guys were supposed to be friends. For Driscoll to come out so publicly and so vehemently against McClaren (who, right or wrong, is about the most gentle brother on the planet), just lent a dirty-laundry feel to the situation. No one likes to see a relationship broken, but it's worse when it happens in front of everyone (take it from me).

Well, yesterday gave me some hope. Apparently, Mark Driscoll has reconsidered his approach, and has posted his apology for the way he criticized his brothers publicly. Pay attention to this excerpt:

A godly friend once asked me an important question: "What do you want to be known for?" I responded that solid theology and effective church planting were the things that I cared most about and wanted to be known for. He kindly said that my reputation was growing as a guy with good theology, a bad temper, and a foul mouth. This is not what I want to be known for. And after listening to the concerns of the board members of the Acts 29 Church Planting Network that I lead, and of some of the elders and deacons at Mars Hill Church that I pastor, I have come to see that my comments were sinful and in poor taste. Therefore, I am publicly asking for forgiveness from both Brian and Doug because I was wrong for attacking them personally and I was wrong for the way in which I confronted positions with which I still disagree. I also ask forgiveness from those who were justifiably offended at the way I chose to address the disagreement. I pray that you will accept this posting as a genuine act of repentance for my sin.

I don't know about you, but when I read it, I got a feeling that was hard to describe. It was part relief, part rejoicing that these relationships would not be cast aside, but mostly a sense that "Yes, this is right."

But notice how he came to change his mind. First, a friend approached him kindly, but firmly. Then, he heard from his board members, deacons and elders, and he listened to them (I'd love to know who-approached-who. I want to hope he initiated it.). It's not hard to imagine that someone with Driscoll's level of visibility and pastoral "success" might be a bit of a Lone Ranger, taking the enemy's bait to "be the man." But Driscoll appears to be a pastor who is clearly in genuine, accountable relationship with his fellow leaders. Far from considering himself above counsel, he relies on his brothers to help him achieve a truthful perspective. Contrast Driscoll with the pastor I once had who loved to point at the Bible and say, "God never called a committee. He always called a man." I feel little but pity for that guy. By saying, in effect, "no man is an island, except me, 'cause I'm the pastor" he has assured his own failure.

I guess the underlying message of this post is this: As much as I have come to look with contempt at what the most of the organized church has become, with its gratuitous infrastructure, its inward-focus, and its ego-driven political hierarchy...I'd gladly join the assembly whose leaders really understand and instill the value, role and meaning of relationship.

Children of the Corn

2006-03-24T14:39:00.000-05:00

I wasn't going to post about this, but it seems to be turning into something.

Brandon put me on to this eBay auction for a tortilla chip bearing the image of our Saviour. You have to check it out. Read the full description and the questions from bidders at the bottom (a couple of them are mine). Never mind that the image looks sort of like George Carlin. It's Jesus, alright. I'm sure of it.

Anyway, I knew the moment I saw it, that I must claim this holy relic in the name of the one true Church of the Holy Burrito. My friends have told me that I'm crazy and that I can never hope to attain such a treasure, but I remain unswerving in my resolve. Meanwhile, heretics, pagans and other various evildoers conspire in a DaVinci Code-esque plot to keep the chip out of the hands of true believers. But God will not be mocked. I shall have this chip, and I shall enjoy it with a slightly chilled Chimay Grande Reserve Ale, brewed in Godly fashion by Trappist monks in Belgium.

Keep me in your prayers, that the One True Chip will soon be found in its rightful home.

Click the button to donate to this righteous cause. Help me redeem the chip.

WordCloud

2006-03-23T11:53:00.000-05:00

This is cool. Snapshirts' software browses your blog and creates a "WordCloud" of key words from your site. You can make modifications and order a t-shirt with the image.

Thanks to Jason Clark for the heads-up.

Slainte!

2006-03-17T08:58:00.000-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone. Drink responsibly.

There's a teacher at a local Christian school (I won't say which) who doesn't encourage her students to celebrate today because she feels that it amounts to nothing more than an homage to the demonic Leprechaun. Apparently, she doesn't want to give the devil a foothold into her soul (I have to wrap my head in duct tape, so that when it explodes, I don't lose my mind altogether).

Anyway, there's some really good information about Saint Patrick here, here and here. My man, Paddy is the guy who brought the Gospel to the Emerald Isle so that they'd stop worshipping trees and snakes, and get on to a meaningful existence of real importance, making Guinness Extra Stout. As best as I can tell, this was the first and best instance of a Purpose-Driven Life in what would later become the United Kingdom.

Seriously, though, this paragraph caught my eye:

Bonfires and Crosses
Familiar with the Irish language and culture, Patrick chose to incorporate traditional ritual into his lessons of Christianity instead of attempting to eradicate native Irish beliefs. For instance, he used bonfires to celebrate Easter since the Irish were used to honoring their gods with fire. He also superimposed a sun, a powerful Irish symbol, onto the Christian cross to create what is now called a Celtic cross, so that veneration of the symbol would seem more natural to the Irish.

Today, fundamentalists would accuse St. Patrick of watering down the message and tickling the ears of his audience with a compromised Gospel (Zeke's contamination and endorsement fallacies have become a permanent part of my ecclesial vocabulary. Thanks, bro.). Yet, in an age when missionaries often arrived in a new land with armies behind them, St. Patrick led what has been called "perhaps the only bloodless spiritual revolution in history, as well as the most successful."

Perhaps the church could take a cue from our forefather. Instead of worrying about appearances (or loot), show folks that the Good News works for everyone, right where they are. Just because God condescended to us, doesn't mean we need to condescend to each other.

Cheers.